How do I write a deep conversation scene? [closed]

Question

So two brothers are having a conversation about one wanting not to be a vampire anymore, and asks him if there is a way he can change to human. How do I make the conversation interesting and wanting the readers to read more?

Answer 1

Stop thinking of the reader

The problem you have is that you look at writing this conversation scene as a transaction between you and the reader: you have something that you want to give the reader, but you don't know how to give it to them in a way that they will like it.

Because you focus on the reader, you have lost your sense of what this scene means to you.

To resolve your dilemma, forget about the reader and think about what interests you in this scene.

• Why do you want to write about it?
• Do the characters say something interesting?
• Do they speak in an interesting way?
• Is the situation in which they communicate interesting?

Focus on what you find interesting in the scene you want to write, and write it so that the writing of it is interesting to you.

If you find the conversation interesting, the reader will find it interesting too. And if you find the scene boring to write – then do not write it! Just summarize its essence briefly at the beginning of the next scene ("John had told me that he didn't want to be a vampire anymore, and now I was on my own.").

Answer 2

This is a question about dialogue and effective dialogue, can and should do more than just feature a conversation between two people (or the self - inner dialogue). It should add depth and personality, animate your characters, move the story forward, and feel as real as an actual conversation (even though you shouldn't write it that way.)

I feel it's always best to use a great existing examples so let's start with John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men who created vibrant characters that are hard to forget. His characters come to life through dialogue and is a great study. We'll start with passages from Chapter 3:

...Slim sat down on a box and George took his place opposite.

"It wasn't nothing," said Slim. "I would of had to drowned most of 'em anyways. No need to thank me about that."

George said, "It wasn't much to you, maybe, but it was a hell of a lot to him. Jesus Christ, I don't know how we're gonna get him to sleep in here. He'll want to sleep right out in the barn with 'em. We'll have trouble keepin' him from getting right in the box with them pups."

"It wasn't nothing," Slim repeated. "Say, you sure was right about him. Maybe he ain't bright, but I never seen such a worker. He damn near killed his partner buckin' barley. There ain't nobody can keep up with him. God awmighty, I never seen such a strong guy."

George spoke proudly. "Jus' tell Lennie what to do an' he'll do it if it don't take no figuring. He can't think of nothing to do himself, but he sure can take orders."

There was a clang of horseshoe on iron stake outside and a little cheer of voices.

Slim moved back slightly so the light was not on his face. "Funny how you an' him string along together." It was Slim's calm invitation to confidence.

"What's funny about it?" George demanded defensively.

"Oh, I dunno. Hardly none of the guys ever travel together. I hardly never seen two guys travel together. You know how the hands are, they just come in and get their bunk and work a month, and then they quit and go out alone. Never seem to give a damn about nobody. It jus' seems kinda funny a cuckoo like him and a smart little guy like you travelin' together."

"He ain't no cuckoo," said George. "He's dumb as hell, but he ain't crazy. An' I ain't so bright neither, or I wouldn't be buckin' barley for my fifty and found. If I was bright, if I was even a little bit smart, I'd have my own little place, an' I'd be bringin' in my own crops, 'stead of doin' all the work and not getting what comes up outa the ground."

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CUT TO THE CHASE

Dialogue is very different than writing a conversation in that, you want to skip the pleasantries.

Notice, as soon as the men sat down, they started right into the conversation. Steinbeck could've easily started with something like:

"Whoo-wee! That sure was some work!"

"Sho nuff" said George."

Instead he started as if they had already been in mid conversation:

"It wasn't nothing," said Slim. "I would of had to drowned most of 'em anyways. No need to thank me about that."

George said, "It wasn't much to you, maybe, but it was a hell of a lot to him. Jesus Christ, I don't know how we're gonna get him to sleep in here. He'll want to sleep right out in the barn with 'em. We'll have trouble keepin' him from getting right in the box with them pups."

Even without knowing the story, you were able to figure that they had just come from doing some...not so nice task. We jump right into the action without having to suffer through any unnecessary banter that would slow down pace and extend the reading experience.

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ADD DEPTH & REVEAL CHARACTER

The best kinds of dialogue are the ones that help readers get a deeper understanding of a character. It's about the things they choose to say and don't say.

"It wasn't nothing," Slim repeated. "Say, you sure was right about him. Maybe he ain't bright, but I never seen such a worker. He damn near killed his partner buckin' barley. There ain't nobody can keep up with him. God awmighty, I never seen such a strong guy." George spoke proudly. "Jus' tell Lennie what to do an' he'll do it if it don't take no figuring. He can't think of nothing to do himself, but he sure can take orders."

Here, we get a sense that both men, Slim and George may not think to highly of Lennie intellectually, but they admire his work ethic. We learn that Lennie is a hard worker and also has a soft spot for animals.

We learn a bit more about George as well when we read:

Slim moved back slightly so the light was not on his face. "Funny how you an' him string along together." It was Slim's calm invitation to confidence. "What's funny about it?" George demanded defensively. "Oh, I dunno..."It jus' seems kinda funny a cuckoo like him and a smart little guy like you travelin' together." "He ain't no cuckoo," said George. "He's dumb as hell, but he ain't crazy. An' I ain't so bright neither, or I wouldn't be buckin' barley for my fifty and found. If I was bright, if I was even a little bit smart, I'd have my own little place, an' I'd be bringin' in my own crops, 'stead of doin' all the work and not getting what comes up outa the ground."

Although, both guys agree that Lennie isn't the smartest tool in the shed, George gets defensive when Slim implies that Lennie was probably too dumb to keep as company. He is so quick to defend Lennie that he humbles/disparages himself to prove that he isn't that smarter than Lennie, revealing his true admiration and loyalty to him.

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USE REALISTIC CONVERSATION PATTERNS

When having a conversation, we usually busy cutting each off, hesitating as we think mid sentence and raise or lower our voices in frustration or excitement. Steinbeck does this well here in this conversation where George has to explain something to Lennie again.

Typically, you want to steer away from hatching out full plans. It can start to seem like a parody to say:

Okay, first we're going to do ABC. And then we're going to XY and Z. That is boring to read and no matter how exciting the plan, we'll fall asleep. The trick is to use the dialogue in a way that brings the attention to the characters. Who they are is far more important than what they plan on doing as in this example:

'I forgot,' Lennie said softly. 'I tried not to forget. Honest to God I did, George.'

'O.K.—O.K. I’ll tell ya again. I ain’t got nothing to do. Might jus’ as well spen’ all my time tell’n you things and then you forget ‘em, and I tell you again.'

'Tried and tried,' said Lennie, 'but it didn’t do no good. I remember about the rabbits, George.'

'The hell with the rabbits. That’s all you ever can remember is them rabbits. O.K.! Now you listen and this time you got to remember so we don’t get in no trouble. You remember settin’ in that gutter on Howard street and watchin’ that blackboard?'

Lennies’s face broke into a delighted smile. 'Why sure, George, I remember that…but…what’d we do then? I remember some girls come by and you says…you say…'

'The hell with what I says. You remember about us goin’ into Murray and Ready’s, and they give us work cards and bus tickets?'

'Oh, sure, George, I remember that now.' His hands went quickly into his side coat pockets. He said gently, 'George…I ain’t got mine. I musta lost it.' He looked down at the ground in despair.

'You never had none, you crazy bastard. I got both of ‘em here. Think I’d let you carry your own work card?'

Lennie grinned with relief.

Lennie is still his forgetful, slow self and George as usual, is willing to go through the process of repeating things for him, making sure he understands the importance of remembering so that they don't get in trouble.

Notice how George cuts him off

Lennies’s face broke into a delighted smile. 'Why sure, George, I remember that…but…what’d we do then? I remember some girls come by and you says…you say…'

'The hell with what I says. You remember about us goin’ into Murray and Ready’s, and they give us work cards and bus tickets?'

George raises his voice, we get a sense of his frustation

'The hell with the rabbits. That’s all you ever can remember is them rabbits. O.K.! Now you listen and this time you got to remember so we don’t get in no trouble. You remember settin’ in that gutter on Howard street and watchin’ that blackboard?'

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ACTION

In that same passage, we're not being pummeled with just words. Things are happening:

...Lennies’s face broke into a delighted smile...

...'Oh, sure, George, I remember that now.' His hands went quickly into his side coat pockets. He said gently, 'George…I ain’t got mine. I musta lost it.' He looked down at the ground in despair...

Steinbeck breaks up what could be long boring dialogue with action and descriptions. Being able to visualize Lennie smile while George is trying to get him to remember vital pieces of information makes us feel for him. Digging in his pockets looking for something that isn't there. All these visual cues help the words pop up from the page and creates dynamic dialogue.

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SUMMARY: Quick Tips

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1. Cut to the chase. Try not to start at the beginning, but bring us in at a critical point in the conversation, early enough to fill us, but far enough so that's interesting.

2. Pepper in depth and character by adding dialogue that brings us into the character's true feelings.

3. Follow Realistic Speech Patterns: find the breaks in the conversation where either those involved will naturally or even unneccessarily cut each other off, get excited, frustrated, angry.

4. Action: Tell us what they're doing as they speak, smiling, crying, eating, dozing off? Get descriptive about the action.

Answer 3

There are dozens of books out there on crafting dialogue, read as many as you can. Read Stephen King's On Writing. He has a short section on dialogue but the rest of the book is great too. The Writers Digest recommends Write Great Fiction - Dialogue by Gloria Kempton and I generally find WD's recommendations to be of a high standard.

The secret to good dialogue is for it to feel natural and real. Don't turn your characters into puppets who say things that propel your story. Good dialogue comes from knowing your characters as well as you know yourself and knowing exactly what they would say in a given situation. Remember that people don't always say what they mean, the truth often lies in what remains unsaid. And what we say alters depending on the situation and our relationship to the person we're conversing with.

When I'm writing dialogue, I lay on my bed, close my eyes, and drop myself into character. Then I imagine exactly how I would respond, tweaking it for the character I'm inhabiting.

But, having said that...

I could be wrong, but this sounds like a fairly fundamental point in your story, that a vampire (your protagonist?) doesn't want to be a vampire any more and wants to find a way to be human?

You'll have heard the old adage 'show don't tell' a hundred times before no doubt, and if you want this part of your story to sizzle, I would be careful about putting it into a deep and potentially drawn out conversation.

Dialogue that serves to further the story can be either unnatural or telling and it might be worth exploring other ways for your vampire to 'show' his desire to not be a vampire any more, rather than telling it in a (potentially long) deep conversation with another vampire.

For example, let's call your reluctant vampire Edward and his brother John.

Imagine a scene where Edward goes to John, sits down on the bed next to him, and says, 'I just can't do this any more, man. I don't want this life any more. I miss being human.' John puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and says, 'Why, man? What happened?'

No matter how well you craft this dialogue, you're still telling the reader what Edward is feeling instead of showing them and there's no action.

Consider how much more interesting and page-turning it would be if you had a scene where Edward and John have a human cornered and in order to survive, they have to kill it. They also don't want to be identified. Edward has the human by the scruff of the neck and is about to do the deed, as he has a hundred times before, but he can't. Your dialogue can be short, not deep at all, and do a better job of showing what Edward is feeling:

'What the fuck are you waiting for?' says John 'Kill it!'

The human starts begging for his life. Edward's teeth retract and he lets go of the human's jacket. The human runs, so John chases it down and kills it. Then he comes back and confronts Edward.

'He'd seen our faces. What the fuck is wrong with you?'

Edward can't look John in the eye, he just says, 'I don't know. I don't know.'

This example is a cliche and just to serve the point, but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes a deep and meaningful isn't the best way to further your story (particularly in genre fiction) because it's easy to slip into telling instead of showing.

If you want readers to read on, don't give it all away at once in a single conversation. Create a number of scenes with well-balanced dialogue and action that build a picture and 'show' the reader that your vampire is having doubts. Have the protagonist drive the action and search out ways that vampires have become humans in the past. As a kid, I loved this movie called Near Dark about a reluctant vampire. He uses a full-body blood transfusion to become human again.

Try putting obstacle after obstacle in your protagonist's way in action-driven scenes that force him to confront his reluctance to kill, to figure out ways to become human, and force him to face up to the alienation of the other vampires. The dialogue will come naturally out of the conflict and the conflict will keep the reader turning pages.

I've digressed a bit from dialogue alone, but I hope it helps.

Good luck!

Answer 4

How do you write a conversation? You write the dialogue: what guy A said, what guy B said. Consider how they say it, how they talk at all: are they open with each other, or are there things they are not comfortable sharing? Is there a non-verbal communication between them, do they understand each other from a word and a gesture, or do they need to spell things out? Any misunderstanding? Any background that would be relevant?

Consider how they talk: what kind of language would they use? What's their age, social class, level of education? Are there any in-jokes they share?

How does each feel towards the other in general, and regarding the subject of the conversation in particular? How do they express those feelings?

When you've written the conversation, you go over it, see what works, what doesn't, and prod it into shape. Usually when I read a conversation and it doesn't work, it's for one (or more) of three reasons:

• It's about nothing. Smalltalk, treading water, not adding anything to the plot, the characters, or anything else really.
• There's no honest emotion. The conversation should be about something the characters care about, but it remains superficial and detached, like the author was afraid to fully engage in what the characters are experiencing.
• There is no logical chain in the conversation: people change their opinion without going through the process of realisation, or escalate too fast, without a visible cause.

You find those problems, you address them, rewrite until it works.