I am writing a personal statement for my college application, and I wanted to use particular words in the beginning of each paragraph that resonate with the main content of the paragraph.
Escape-pause-escape. From an apparent distance, I observe the child who chargingly escapes from her mother’s hold. She rushes to the soft-toy aisle. Like any other child, she admiringly watches the gigantic teddy bear for a very long time. Unlike any other child, she holds the black price tag closer to her eyes, moves a step behind, and waves it goodbye. A tiny kid with a large consciousness.
Could you please let me know if this is acceptable? I am open to any suggestion and criticism.
A little note: The personal statement looks for creativity and is not stringently evaluated, but it is safe to be grammatically correct.