6

I suspect that your descriptive skills are not necessarily the issue, but that you simply do not know WHAT is relevant to describe and WHY, and then HOW. A suggestion that COULD help, but which might take some effort in order to work; Introduce/use a somewhat 'odd' character - It could also be your narrator. Focus on creating a character that does ...


5

I'm actually going to challenge the premise a little here... I either have to have the main character run indefinitely, or explain why the shape-shifter is chasing them. Once I explain it, it doesn't seem scary no matter what I do. Then don't explain it, not only is it unnecessary (particularly in short story form) it's actually often counter-productive to ...


5

I don't think you should feel ashamed of using Grammarly to correct mistakes. You should, however, take it with a grain of salt. Not because it makes a lot of mistakes, but because you wish to learn correct spelling, punctuation and grammar it suggests. So, instead of blindly clicking on the red line try to fix the mistakes on your own before going for its ...


5

I suspect that you are trying to take in too much all at once. Narrow your field of perception. Pick one thing that you see as you move through this world and write about it. Pick something that you care about. Prune away anything that is not directly related to that one thing. Let's say that you pick something that was a gift, say one you received. ...


4

Wealth. Digging up tombs to loot them is a time-honoured human activity. In trying to explain any kind of stupid human behaviour, you can always count on the old reliables: ego, sex, wealth, and religion. People will do all sorts of dumbass things for one or more of those reasons.


4

The purpose of writing is not for you to be perfect, it is for your prose to be (close to) perfect. No writer ever spits out perfect prose on the first go. It just isn't possible. That is why the writing gods created the act of revising to move the imperfect closer to perfect. Grammarly is a useful tool in this process. So are dictionaries. So are beta ...


4

Try to describe less, and imply more. For example, Anton Chekhov once advised his brother thusly: "In descriptions of Nature one must seize on small details, grouping them so that when the reader closes his eyes he gets a picture. For instance, you'll have a moonlit night if you write that on the mill dam a piece of glass from a broken bottle glittered ...


3

Well, a short story should be around 1,000 - 10,000 words total. If I am correct, short stories usually don't even have chapters. If you find it necessary to add chapters, and you stick with the chapter length of 450 words, you could have no more than 22 chapters (assuming every chapter is exactly 450 words and you are trying to get a maximum word count for ...


3

I will try to answer the two aspects of your question. Particular situation in your plot is probably to benefit from doing some research on what depression is, and how people get out of it. Maybe you can find online or better find a person in your surrounding who had similar or even same issue. Generally, people get out of depression by accepting their ...


2

I agree with friendly's answer about the need for a better hook. This is why it feels a bit bland to you, I think. Assuming this is at the very beginning of the whole story, we need a bit more to catch our attention. The opening sentences are supposed to get us interested and asking questions, but they also needs to answer a few questions, particularly "...


2

Warning: This answer is very long — much longer than I was expecting it to be at any rate, so may take some time. Hopefully the content justifies the length. Short story ideas are inherently different from novel ideas, so it may not be possible to adapt one into a full-length book unless you have a sure-fire direction to take it. Such an exercise would also ...


2

Publishing a collection of short stories is a difficult matter in general. Usually, if a collection is published all, or almost all of the stories will have been previously published and at least one in some top-tier publication such as The New Yorker, The Atlantic, The Paris Review, Granta or Virginia Quarterly Review. The only recent instance I know of ...


2

Reflection, as Alexander says in the comments, is a good one. There are a million different standard negative thoughts depressed people usually have about themselves: "I'm not good enough," "the world would be better without me," "my friends just pity me and they won't miss me when I'm gone", etc. Even picking one could serve as ...


2

A good question this is, you just have to know how to empathize! As I was reading I could already tell, me and you have very much the same problem of writers block and I can help you. Here is my answer... You need to find something your character loves! Say his mom/dad gave him a braille book or they send him to a school for the blind where he can connect. ...


1

You can do anything as a writer, if you do it well enough. With that said: Short stories are not typically divided into chapters. 450 words would be extremely short for a chapter. If you do have chapters, it's best to have them be of similar lengths. So IN GENERAL I would recommend against this. But again, that's only playing the averages. I've seen ...


1

Yes! Personally I think you as the writer should know when a chapter is long enough. You have your reasons for their lengths and that’s what needs be most important for a writer, that you have your reasons for the length. Someone will understand it.


1

I note a number of terse forms and contractions. For example: Last couple of months I’ve been suffering in silence. This could be rewritten as: During the course of the last couple of months I have been suffering in silence. and Over days I decided to think about it ... could be written as: Over a period of many days, I decided to think about it ... ...


1

Just make sure that the reader knows who 'I' is. The Kane Chronicles does this well, but they use chapters which you say you don't want to use, but that's fine. I think the best way would be to do a break of some sort, probably with the characters name in the middle. This way the character doesn't say 'I'm (insert name here)' every time you switch and the ...


1

You've sort of written yourself into a bit of a trap - having them stay in the room shut away is a great metaphorical expression for the isolation of depression but as you're discovering it doesn't provide you with much happening to actually write about. Time-skipping past as you would normally a period of inactivity in a story's timeframe would defeat the ...


1

I will attempt my own rewrite to achieve what I will later call. However I'm not a native English speaker so grammar will suffer. Grace came here expecting changes. The lines at her face, the way she wakes up tired even after a full night's sleep, the way her interests waned in saving the world. She herself changed so how much did the world change? She came ...


1

Ignoring content, a few things stand out. One, you shift tenses. You say "Grace isn't sure..." and then "Grace came upon...". Stick to one tense. If it were me, and you're already going for a distant POV, past tense might be my choice, but that's up to you. Two, you have a few extraneous commas in your compound verbal phrases in the first ...


1

How can I cue the reader to see the intended pretentious narrator bloopers, for instance that the first of two divergent descriptions of an Apple Watch as having “a small, circular face” represent bloopers on the part of an incompetent fictional narrator? You need to establish a frame - something to give the reader the context that your "incompetent ...


1

Things that your character is not aware of can not appear in the story. If you wish to stick to a first-person single point of view, you have to make the character aware of the event somehow -- even if you have the character interrupt people arguing about it and be more annoyed than interested.


1

I have read It. I've watched Terminator 2. (Not familiar with The Thing.) I think I see the difference which makes one horror and the other sci fi. Horror Is Inherently Arbitrary The killer clown (ancient god-spider, whatever, etc...) in It is malevolent, delights in making victims miserable, and will go after anyone who is vulnerable and unfortunate ...


1

Don't feel bad. Few people, if any, are perfect writers. As an editor, I'd rather fix spelling and grammar and other technical aspects of writing for someone who can tell a story well than struggle with a poor storyteller who is technically a good writer. For example, I'm a competent writer with a good handle on PUGS (punctuation, usage, grammar, and ...


1

Good grammar was created to help us communicate our ideas accurately and effectively. In general, using good grammar will improve your writing. In general, though, the perfect grammar community is just another religion designed to create a club from which they can exclude others to make themselves feel included. (Other such clubs are etiquette, Ivy League ...


1

Just from a 'craft' perspective, the difficulty I have with this sentence is that it uses too many adjectives and some unconventional word choices, and that makes it difficult to visualize what's actually happening. For instance: The meticulously placed masses of skin under her eyes [...] I assume that means something in context, but I can't visualize it, ...


1

I found the sentence hard to read. I do not think that the problem is so much awkward grammar as it is excessive cognitive load. The sentence as written requires the reader to hold quite a number of concepts in their mind until the end of the sentence in order to understand it. There does not seem to be any rhythmic structure such as parallelism to organize ...


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