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For me, it seems like you, the author, and not she, the character, are posing the questions. That is, they seem more like rhetorical questions asked of the audience (i.e., asking the audience how she had not been scolded as opposed to the character asking herself). When I write my character's thoughts, I usually write them as though they were dialogue where ...


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You are showing that the character has a lot of questions. Also that the character will do nothing but gape at the questions for some period of time. If you want to show her trying to figure things out, you want to show her figuring. For instance: What was this place? She wished she had caught a glimpse as they were brought in. The lack of windows made ...


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I think it really depends on what questions you are asking. For me, this isn't really annoying. The questions just make me wonder and curious. If you were to ask really obvious questions the reader might already be asking themselves, that might be annoying. But when you ask thoughtful questions that help the readers make predictions. I do have one suggestion ...


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It really depends on your narrative voice (i.e. who is telling the story to the reader). This is fine for Third Person Omniscient (the narrator is telling a story and knows all), Third Person Limited Omniscient (the narrator is telling the story and knows all from one character's perspective), First Person (The narrator is the main character) or First ...


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