New answers tagged essay
0
It has plenty to do with the third paragraph, the third paragraph is just not well written. Kintsugi makes beauty by highlighting the seams in the repair. The line that says
But the beauty is in picking yourself up after failure or loss."
Fails to echo the beauty of Kintsugi at all, it should read more like
But failure and loss, like the fracture ...
5
Eliminate superfluous words; you are saying things with too many words. To demonstrate such a transformation, I will take your first line through stages:
I strongly believe that such type of dieting as vegetarianism should be pursued by everybody,
I strongly believe diets like vegetarianism should be pursued by everybody,
I strongly believe ...
1
I think it is pretty easy, even as a true story. Pick your story, and try Intro, Complication, Try, Resolution. One or two sentences each. Here are two 80 word solutions.
When I was ten, my allowance was three dollars a week. It didn't go far. One day, I saw the house on the corner had a yard full of leaves. I knocked on the door, and told Mister Jacobs I'...
1
Eighty words isn't an essay. It's a few sentences - a paragraph or two. Enough to express one short idea, but not to develop or explore it.
You should therefore have a clear idea of what it is you want to say, and say just that. If you wish to provide an example to illustrate your point, pick one that would be familiar to the reader, and thus fit into one ...
3
Any piece this short has to assume a lot of knowledge from the reader.
Therefore: write your piece like your would a conclusion to a longer piece, while leaving out any summarizing you may normally do.
Restrict yourself to the core knowledge you want to impart without necessarily supporting it directly.
And, as always, close with a particularly snappy ...
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