23

Paint a picture, don't draw a sketch: A list of details is occasionally okay in small doses, but only for things that you don't have time to introduce. This is like giving details to a sketch artist about a criminal. What color hair? Nose flat or thick or long? Distinguishing features? A picture is often more of a suggestion of an idea than a perfect ...


13

While I imagine it might be annoying to the reader, maybe readers will get used to these names and simply skip over them. The best way to check this would be to write some kind of dialogue (or copy an existing one and replace the names) and ask your beta readers. In any case, I'd advise you to make sure that each name has a distinctive beginning and ending, ...


8

Pet Names/Convenient Initials: The MC can have pet names for everyone, and in third person everyone is called the pet name. But when someone is formally addressed, it's by their full name. So Alejandro Llewelyn Ignacio-Schmitt becomes "Ali" in the MC's head. Or a girl looks feline, so she's "Cat," but when the MC speaks they say "So ...


8

I suspect your question will be closed as it leans to asking what to write (I'm not completely sure though, so no close vote from me yet), but I'll give you some of my ideas anyway. The GIF shows the reader not really comprehending what the book is saying (unless they are incredibly fast at reading), rather they are jumping across pages, perhaps to find a ...


7

Generally speaking, you should not mix tenses. If the rest of your book is in past tense, your character descriptions should also be in past tense. The fact that your novel will be part of a series doesn't change that. So for your example, you would write, "Blue pupils adorned her..."


7

The primary reason for avoiding lists is because they are boring and dull and lame and stultifying in their insufficiency. So that means if the lists are written in ways that aren't those things, then lists can be okay, particularly when applied to non-POV characters. But, it is important that list items reflect independent characteristics; so don't say ...


6

If You can't Puzzle them with Pauses, Stun them with Scenery: In the cases where there is an awkward gap in a conversation, you need something to fill in the gap. There is never NOTHING going on. So talk about what IS going on. In an awkward silence, the emptiness is filled by the wind that can now be heard blowing through the trees. Or perhaps a mob of ...


5

You need to post a sample so we know how you're failing this task or whether you're imagining yourself failing it. If there are only two characters it should be very simple: Alex sipped his coffee. "Why are you here?" "Because you told me to come before noon." "And what if I'd told you to jump off a bridge?" Alex asked. "...


5

I am a minimalist, in world building and character descriptions. I believe that less is better. The reader needs to know certain things about the world of the story and the characters that inhabit that world, but may well be better off not knowing anything more than that minimum. That ignorance is not so useful for the author. They should know how the world ...


5

As the author, you need all the details of the appearance of your characters. You need to be consistent in what characteristics your characters have so that you don't make mistakes or contradict yourself. As a reader, I don't really care what the characters look like, only that they are consistent. If you tell me a character is shorter than average then ...


4

Try describing the present experience of the thing rather than how it got there. This is also more active rather than passive which may help. A variation on show, don't tell. "I can still see the worksheet as clearly as if she just handed it to me." or "The worksheet might as well be in front of me now. Every detail is clear.", if you ...


4

This answer on a Worldbuilding sub might help: https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/62648/why-would-a-city-not-use-names/62661#62661 In it, I talk about titles and positions in societies. While this is, in fact, the exact opposite of what you are doing, the answer might be contained within. Just ask the question: are the relationships BETWEEN ...


4

It would be a society where talking is simply allowed to take longer than with shorter names. Still, people would get used to rattle down the names - much like Finnish rattle down the digits of numbers. (A very instructive example is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuNs1v_jtfs, which demonstrates all numbers between 1 and 100; the start is very slow so you ...


4

What might work well is to progressively shorten the descriptions as the moves become routine to the character. I know nothing about dancing, but maybe you could start out with describing the exact moves (the way her feet turn, where she's looking, when her muscles tense to prepare for a jump). At the same time you could also introduce the technical term for ...


4

The perfect copy Sometimes you get stuck trying to describe something perfectly, but if/when you ask readers what they see you realize you're not able to copy the image in your head verbatim into theirs. They will interpret what they read in their unique way (which, by the way, is what makes books so great to read... and so scary to write...) The perfect ...


4

Keep it simple: An island is still an island, since a country could be part of an island, or several islands. Don't confuse the issue by using clever, cryptic language. If you never refer to anything but islands, they'll get the point. Or the world can have a suggestive name like Islandia. Characters can discuss the island-like nature of the world, or ...


3

It's totally ok to use "NN said" as in. "Why did you do that?" Alex said. In fact, it's recommended not to use such constructions as "NN laughed", "NN hissed, growled, opined, exclaimed, etc etc." And in the example above I'm not even using "Alex asked" because both the sentence form and the question mark ...


3

Look to Cyberpunk: This depends on how close to realistic you want to be. The more realistic you want the portrayal of internet culture, the more specific you must be. At that point, you MUST date the behavior of your MC and risk irrelevance. I would read some vintage cyberpunk. The oldest stuff was even written by people with little understanding of actual ...


3

I personally don't see it much as an LGBT story. The girl and the male spirit are two independent beings, in flesh and in spirit. The only quirk here is that they (at least the girl) are a first-person observers of other's actions. Of course it can be made tasteless, for example by male spirit's lewd comments or girl's own desire to make sexual conquests in ...


3

It's great to include descriptive details, but as with many things in writing, there's a limit to how far you should go. If you include too many details, you run the risk of coming across as pretentious, overly flowery, or writing "purple prose." This becomes very easy to slip into as a fantasy writer, especially if you use a lot of adverbs, ...


3

Characters may change in some situations As already said, it depends a lot on the situation and what you want to go through. But a very important thing to be aware of is: the character is two people, the person he appears to be, and the person he really is. This applies to everyone. It is in moments like this, in moments of pressure, that the characters show ...


3

Fun word games are fun 🙂. Some options: Go simple ... which twisted his body Change the wording ... he hit the object and that caused him to swivel mid-air ... he collided with the object which made his body veer sharply to the left Chain more than one action ... his body ricocheted off the object and spun. Find the exact verb you want...? Overall, ...


3

Do it early, if at all. People usually form their impressions of a character based on the first time they see them enter the story, and if you don't describe them there the image won't stick in their mind. But later, about six chapters in, another character mentions that she has red hair. Will this disrupt the mental image that readers have already formed ...


3

For many people, the story plays out like a movie in their head as they read. If you don't "cast" a face into the role quickly, they'll have already filled it with their own imagination. Within a few sentences of introducing a new character, stories tend to describe the important characteristics you'd notice if you saw them on screen to avoid ...


2

To write my first books using these kinds of toys, I actually purchased a couple of kinds of floggers and tried using them on myself. I know it's not a whip or a perfect situation, but just like the towel analogy, it depends on position, distance, and how hard you can bring it down to where you're aiming. FYI, every flogger I tried was totally different from ...


2

I think you're on the right track so far. Epending on the person they may be in shock, not knowing what to do. Some things I recommend to make this traumatic event more engaging and memorable include Describing little details, such as memories of what someone who died enjoyed, or describing something recent the protagonist regrets that she may not have een ...


2

I asked the AI that I've been building for some descriptions of "my heart pounded" and got these suggestions. Hopefully it's helpful! Your heart pounds like a drum in your chest, fast and hot in anticipation of something — anything. It had triggered the primal flight reaction or something like it: a massive flood of adrenaline that shot through me ...


2

It all depends on the level of fracture, the place of the wound, and the number of fragments you've got. Bones get broken mostly when some sort of external stress is applied to them, or when you land your feet or place weight on your arms in an awkward manner, for which you may get your bones broken straight away or over time. Either way, when a bone is ...


2

Cumulative Sentences are a great way to show continuous action without it getting tedious and boring. They work because the subject performing the action is only mentioned once in a independent clause followed by subordinate adverbial clause focusing on, in your case, the action of dancing. From Cross-Country Snow by Ernest Hemingway He held to his left at ...


2

The reason film scripts are very upfront about it is because the final product, the film, is not: Though explicit in writing, the film doesn't need to be upfront about it, as everyone can see that they are of Asian descent, for example. Scripts are also only used as a sort of guiding stone for the director, editor, cinematographer, actors, casting director, ...


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