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What you seek would emerge from heeding the common advice to vary sentence length. You'd get something like: I woke on a crisp morning. From the year's first falling leaves, I knew Autumn had begun. The dappled sunlight in what remained of the sweet-scented canopies meant the perfect day for a hunt. (I couldn't help but also make some of the changes others ...


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Though being unqualified to write an answer to any question on prose style, due to having written no published work, I do have some knowledge of the style of prose, and have an answer to the question you posed about sentence structure, concerning how to avoid repetitive structures. Therefore now will I give an answer, and hope that it will be good enough. ...


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There is a significant degree of redundancy in the information you are imparting. Specifically, you say: 'Crisp and cold'. Crisp by itself implies a low temperature. 'Light shone'. It would not be light if it didn't shine. 'Scent filled the air'. Again, it is the nature of scent to be in the air. 'The first leaves had begun to fall'. There is a degree of ...


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Avoiding Hot Water: Sonic and Taco John's are actually more wide-spread, but I get the point. People in the region are likely to get oblique references (Mount Rose MN vs. Rosemount MN in the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous) while people outside the area are unlikely to get the reference at all unless they Google it (if you saw the movie, did you know there was a ...


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I mean, I use World Anvil, along with 1.3 million others. But then, I would, because I made it! :D


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Generally speaking, it doesn't matter whether you use British English or American English in a story, so long as you keep it consistent: If you use "sceptical", you will need to ensure you use British English throughout ("colour", "car park", "realise", etc). If you use "skeptical", you will need to ensure ...


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Because you're self-publishing, there is no "house" style. Let's take a look at your example, "skeptical vs sceptical" on GoogleNgram: You can see that the American version is much preferred. Most of the time, it is best to use American or British English rather than Canadian or Australian because they are the most popular. Other English ...


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I know this question was asked 2 years ago but on the off chance anyone is reading this... Have Eris feel immense guilt and sorrow and just general intense emotion with regards their killing. Have it haunt her, have her only kill out of blind panic and then feel instant remorse, or have her exhaust every other option before killing a person. And give her a ...


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You can do it explicitly like you stated or .... Another method is to incorporate a unique setting and event in both. For instance, the Prologue happens on Bilbo's One Hundred and Eleventeenth birthday and in the first chapter they are planning Bilbo's One Hundred and Eleventeenth birthday party. The benefit of this method is it builds engagement bevause ...


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Write your thesis statement. What's the point you're making? Expand it, ignoring your word limit. Then tighten the text to fit your limit. Here's how I tighten text: For every adverb and adjective, consider how a stronger verb or noun would allow you to delete the descriptive word. Are there sentences that can be combined to save words? Are there words or ...


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As others have pointed out, your excerpt doesn't contain any filter words. Since you highlighted "looked", I'm assuming you're worried about the sense filters: see, hear, smell, etc. They're called "filter words" because they filter the reader's experience through the writing rather than allow them to experience the scene themselves. ...


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Colonialism isn't a moral issue (on the scale of a nation) Historically, colonialism has never ended because of moral reasons. It was always a power struggle : The colony becoming strong enough to claim its independence. The colonizers becoming unable to control their colony (too weak, too strong opponents, etc) The most powerful faction within the ...


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Like this: (Note that the "I am your father" line is in insert B - it wasn't revealed until the day of shooting - but the response is included here). In this case, all of the interpretation of the line is left up to the actor and director.


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Don't fight the allusions to colonialism, lean into them. 100% morally flawless protagonists are just as boring as 100% morally despicable antagonists. Acknowledge that not everything in the "good guy" empire is all fine and dandy. When you feel that what they are doing is similar to colonialism, do your research on why colonialism is generally ...


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No, but there's a fine line Look, it's your story. If you think that the story needs to be told, tell it. Just know that, there's a fine line. Your characters are allowed to be horrible people with horrible views (such as racism), but you aren't. When you're writing a story to get a political point across, you've crossed the line. Also, please don't write ...


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If you have to ask whether you're promoting Colonialism with your writing, you already know the answer; of course you're promoting Colonialism. Don't write the story. The only thing you can do now is give up all ambitions to be a writer and never put pen to paper again. Although, I fear the problem here is deeper than that. You appear to be guilty not ...


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Legally at least in the US, you'll need to be at least 18 years of age for a contract to be binding. That said, a parent or guardian may be able to accept on your behalf. However, this will likely vary on a publisher-by-publisher basis.


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I would honestly say to write her no other than you. Of course, the character will not have all of the same experiences, but you probably have a female who you are close to, who you can ask for help with that. I have run into this problem as well with my story. I am a female trying to write a male character, but the thing that has helped me the most is ...


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Both Both structures fit your story. That's probably because they are both very similar and were both designed to fit very broadly the most common type of character arcs (that we follow naturally). But I think you are approaching these structures the wrong way... They are character path structures, not narrative structures. A given character's journey could ...


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Controversy and Emotion: There are lots of publications about industrialization and colonialism, and it's a really complex topic. If you want your writing to have a plausible feel, not just a pat anticolonial one, you have to embrace the complexity of the situation. I read a controversial but well written article suggesting colonialism was a net benefit for ...


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The big problem with the "Dead All Along" trope is that, if not handled well, it has the potential to lose audience investment. For example in your story you've established the main goal of the protagonist is to find the friend she was separated from as a child. This creates a desire in the audience to see them reunited, and that desire will grow ...


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The reader doesn't know what the character's personality is like until the character does, says, feels, or thinks something. After the character does, says, feels, or thinks enough things, the reader may have a fairly complete idea of their character. But neighter the writer nor the reader will have a totally complete knowledge of the personality of the ...


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That many 'O's and exclamation marks is probably excessive, because it will spill over the line break. Beyond that, you're good to go. Remember that a script should tell actors what they need to say, rather than how they should say it. How long the "NOOOOOOOO" is, is a decision for the actor, director, and editor, so I wouldn't worry too much ...


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Characters may change in some situations As already said, it depends a lot on the situation and what you want to go through. But a very important thing to be aware of is: the character is two people, the person he appears to be, and the person he really is. This applies to everyone. It is in moments like this, in moments of pressure, that the characters show ...


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Suffering is Drama (and transformation): Unfortunately, I think this might fall into the "Asking what to write" category of questions. Answering "what should I do?" isn't something we can say. So I'll try to address this in a general way, keeping away from specifics. If you are asking more generally about how humans behave in high-stress ...


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Connection is important Your notion that the two stories don't connect is problematic. I think some kind of connection is important. The two stories need to have enough connections that they can authoritatively answer the question; why are we seeing both stories, and why are they in the same book and not in a book each? It doesn't have to be more than a ...


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Going from the first idea to a final draft of a novel is a creation/destruction kind of work. Creation in that you come up with ideas, you write them down, develop them, create characters and scenes from them and finally form them into a finished novel. Destruction in that some of your ideas will contradict other ideas and you will have to change or discard ...


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Well, what your animation shows is someone riffling pages as one other answer states. But an alternative understanding relates to the older flip book technique (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flip_book) that animated *.gif files digitally reprise/simulate. So, you have choices, 'flip' or 'riffle' through. I prefer 'riffle through' as it implies going ...


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Personally, I believe that it would seem kind of weird in the same story, and if they do not overlap/are completely separate, I would not recommend writing about them in the same book, but here are some options you can do if you want to include them both. Write them as two separate stories and note that they take place in the same world (mention characters ...


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