6

That many 'O's and exclamation marks is probably excessive, because it will spill over the line break. Beyond that, you're good to go. Remember that a script should tell actors what they need to say, rather than how they should say it. How long the "NOOOOOOOO" is, is a decision for the actor, director, and editor, so I wouldn't worry too much ...


4

Don't fight the allusions to colonialism, lean into them. 100% morally flawless protagonists are just as boring as 100% morally despicable antagonists. Acknowledge that not everything in the "good guy" empire is all fine and dandy. When you feel that what they are doing is similar to colonialism, do your research on why colonialism is generally ...


4

Avoiding Hot Water: Sonic and Taco John's are actually more wide-spread, but I get the point. People in the region are likely to get oblique references (Mount Rose MN vs. Rosemount MN in the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous) while people outside the area are unlikely to get the reference at all unless they Google it (if you saw the movie, did you know there was a ...


3

Generally speaking, it doesn't matter whether you use British English or American English in a story, so long as you keep it consistent: If you use "sceptical", you will need to ensure you use British English throughout ("colour", "car park", "realise", etc). If you use "skeptical", you will need to ensure ...


3

Because you're self-publishing, there is no "house" style. Let's take a look at your example, "skeptical vs sceptical" on GoogleNgram: You can see that the American version is much preferred. Most of the time, it is best to use American or British English rather than Canadian or Australian because they are the most popular. Other English ...


3

Both Both structures fit your story. That's probably because they are both very similar and were both designed to fit very broadly the most common type of character arcs (that we follow naturally). But I think you are approaching these structures the wrong way... They are character path structures, not narrative structures. A given character's journey could ...


3

Controversy and Emotion: There are lots of publications about industrialization and colonialism, and it's a really complex topic. If you want your writing to have a plausible feel, not just a pat anticolonial one, you have to embrace the complexity of the situation. I read a controversial but well written article suggesting colonialism was a net benefit for ...


3

The big problem with the "Dead All Along" trope is that, if not handled well, it has the potential to lose audience investment. For example in your story you've established the main goal of the protagonist is to find the friend she was separated from as a child. This creates a desire in the audience to see them reunited, and that desire will grow ...


2

The reader doesn't know what the character's personality is like until the character does, says, feels, or thinks something. After the character does, says, feels, or thinks enough things, the reader may have a fairly complete idea of their character. But neighter the writer nor the reader will have a totally complete knowledge of the personality of the ...


2

Characters may change in some situations As already said, it depends a lot on the situation and what you want to go through. But a very important thing to be aware of is: the character is two people, the person he appears to be, and the person he really is. This applies to everyone. It is in moments like this, in moments of pressure, that the characters show ...


2

I would honestly say to write her no other than you. Of course, the character will not have all of the same experiences, but you probably have a female who you are close to, who you can ask for help with that. I have run into this problem as well with my story. I am a female trying to write a male character, but the thing that has helped me the most is ...


2

Colonialism isn't a moral issue (on the scale of a nation) Historically, colonialism has never ended because of moral reasons. It was always a power struggle : The colony becoming strong enough to claim its independence. The colonizers becoming unable to control their colony (too weak, too strong opponents, etc) The most powerful faction within the ...


2

No, but there's a fine line Look, it's your story. If you think that the story needs to be told, tell it. Just know that, there's a fine line. Your characters are allowed to be horrible people with horrible views (such as racism), but you aren't. When you're writing a story to get a political point across, you've crossed the line. Also, please don't write ...


2

Write your thesis statement. What's the point you're making? Expand it, ignoring your word limit. Then tighten the text to fit your limit. Here's how I tighten text: For every adverb and adjective, consider how a stronger verb or noun would allow you to delete the descriptive word. Are there sentences that can be combined to save words? Are there words or ...


2

As others have pointed out, your excerpt doesn't contain any filter words. Since you highlighted "looked", I'm assuming you're worried about the sense filters: see, hear, smell, etc. They're called "filter words" because they filter the reader's experience through the writing rather than allow them to experience the scene themselves. ...


1

As this is clearly fictional, there shouldn't be any issue with a depiction of a real fast food company, so long as you're not using any trademark imagery in your work (Names are fine because it's a name. McDonald's can't really copyright their own name, but they can get you on any stylization of it, such as the "Golden Arches"). At this level, ...


1

You can do it explicitly like you stated or .... Another method is to incorporate a unique setting and event in both. For instance, the Prologue happens on Bilbo's One Hundred and Eleventeenth birthday and in the first chapter they are planning Bilbo's One Hundred and Eleventeenth birthday party. The benefit of this method is it builds engagement bevause ...


1

If you have to ask whether you're promoting Colonialism with your writing, you already know the answer; of course you're promoting Colonialism. Don't write the story. The only thing you can do now is give up all ambitions to be a writer and never put pen to paper again. Although, I fear the problem here is deeper than that. You appear to be guilty not ...


1

Like this: (Note that the "I am your father" line is in insert B - it wasn't revealed until the day of shooting - but the response is included here). In this case, all of the interpretation of the line is left up to the actor and director.


1

I know this question was asked 2 years ago but on the off chance anyone is reading this... Have Eris feel immense guilt and sorrow and just general intense emotion with regards their killing. Have it haunt her, have her only kill out of blind panic and then feel instant remorse, or have her exhaust every other option before killing a person. And give her a ...


1

Suffering is Drama (and transformation): Unfortunately, I think this might fall into the "Asking what to write" category of questions. Answering "what should I do?" isn't something we can say. So I'll try to address this in a general way, keeping away from specifics. If you are asking more generally about how humans behave in high-stress ...


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