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Code code:"if (foo != bar)"
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Search options not deleted user 19827

This tag should be used for questions that deal with a consistent style in your writing, such as when asking about typical ways to introduce a certain aspect to your reader by showing-telling or if you are concerned that your readers might feel that a change in the point of view might be perceived as inconcsistency.

0 votes

Which version of these three lines is more likely to attract the interest of the reader ? (c...

My re-write of number two, adding in lost details from #1. This is how people actually think, they don't refer so directly to things. We still know something is killing him, but now we're wondering wh …
Erin Thursby's user avatar
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1 vote

Suggestions for ways to say "I'll come back to this later ..."

Please absolutely do reference later pages, chapters or sections, because if I am interested in a particular topic that you are talking about, I might want to turn directly to it for more info. Whenev …
Erin Thursby's user avatar
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11 votes
Accepted

What combination of had and 'd makes prose flow better?

Of the two choices, I like the second better. Mainly because it emphasizes the word had--even when it isn't bolded. Read it out loud both ways, even with a flat affect and you'll hear what I mean. …
Erin Thursby's user avatar
  • 2,773
6 votes
Accepted

How can I make my roleplay sentences more interesting, and less lengthy?

I'll go ahead and do some examples, using yours. He leaned into her touch, watching her with a content smile on his face. rewrite: A content smile spread over his face as he leaned into her touch. r …
Erin Thursby's user avatar
  • 2,773
5 votes

Using terms for clarity in first person

Show it. "I'll take 40 nargs of milk," Jon said, carefully counting out the gime needed to purchase it. Stan's eyes went wide, and Jon waited for him to ask why he would need so much, but …
Erin Thursby's user avatar
  • 2,773