All Questions
Tagged with style description
43 questions
3
votes
2
answers
93
views
Difficulty describing a complex image in a single sentence
I am having difficulty explaining that the sun evaporated the fog that had brushed up against the blooming hills. When I add "with spectacular wildflower blooms", it sounds as if the sun ...
- 61
0
votes
4
answers
174
views
Which Is Clearer: 'Being pressed' or 'Pressed'?
Consider these two sentences:
[1] Being pressed against the wall, he struggled to break free.
[2] Pressed against the wall, he struggled to break free.
I've recently spent some time reading grammar ...
- 75
2
votes
2
answers
147
views
How to refer to alternate versions of a character in a non-sci-fi way?
I'm writing a story featuring a plot element which is a variation on A Christmas Carol involving the multiverse. A character is escorted to other timelines, where she looks at where those versions of ...
- 683
-1
votes
1
answer
1k
views
How to describe types of hum a character uses to convey their thoughts and opinions
I have a character who struggles to put his thoughts, feelings and opinions into words - he finds words somewhat too contained and specifically defined to adequately convey what he wants to say. He ...
- 607
2
votes
2
answers
2k
views
How to describe someone whose eyes sparkle mischievously?
I've been told that I'm telling instead of showing when I say my characters' eyes sparkle 'mischievously.' How do you describe something like that? I've been looking it up and trying different tricks ...
- 33
11
votes
2
answers
7k
views
Alternatives to raising eyebrows to show surprise
I’m trying to reduce the number of clichés in my manuscript, and I’ve found 11 instances of characters raising their eyebrows. A couple I don’t mind, but it feels like too many.
What other actions can ...
- 323
4
votes
2
answers
143
views
Dilating the beat
Consider the following sentences
She did not feel the bullet going through her skull.
vs
She did not feel the 9mm NATO Parabellum lead bullet going through her skull.
vs
She did not feel the nine ...
- 10.6k
3
votes
3
answers
349
views
How does one go about describing subtle movements in characters actions?
I'm struggling with figuring out a way to describe subtle movements in a scene that wouldn't normally be picked up on if not shown. For example:
A character is being put in a prison cell and another
...
- 441
0
votes
2
answers
208
views
What are some examples of the "simple but vivid" description that Chekhov talks about in the quote below?
(The quote below is from one of Chekhov's letters to other Russian writer, Maxim Gorky.)
Your nature descriptions are artistic; you are a true landscape
painter. But your frequent personifications (...
1
vote
3
answers
370
views
I abstain from using concise words in my writing, so as to "show" instead of "tell". Is this bad writing?
Instead of explaining this whole practice, I'll rather give an example. In a scene in my book, there is this character. This character is pompous and arrogant. I describe their gait shortly after ...
- 4,053
0
votes
2
answers
245
views
Can overwriting be made to look intentional from a first-person narrative?
I am an aspiring author, trying to get my 80,000-word traditionally published, though I will self-publish it if that doesn't work out.
this article suggests that we avoid it altogether.
I've used ...
3
votes
2
answers
294
views
Job description for my employment reference
I've canceled my job to move on. Now I was asked how I want my Job description for my employment reference.
My first draft was one full page... This is too much. Now I've reduced the long version to ...
- 141
3
votes
3
answers
2k
views
Is it stylistically sound to use onomatopoeic words?
I'm writing a non-comedic fantasy novel, and I find myself using onomatopoeic words, like "SLAM!" and "TWISH" (for the shooting of arrows). To my knowledge, onomatopoeic words are almost only used in ...
- 4,053
4
votes
5
answers
978
views
Should fiction mention song names and iPods?
In my novel, the protagonist is depressed. In the story which is in my mind...
The autumn leaves were falling as I was sitting alone and Gary Jules' "Mad World" was ringing in my iPod.
The ...
- 2,399
1
vote
1
answer
284
views
Should we avoid "nonsensical" or "unclear" metaphors?
Should we avoid "nonsensical" or "unclear" metaphors? I am not sure if this is a case of "nonsensical" or "unclear" metaphor, but sometimes you have certain phrases that doesn't seem to be suited for ...
user36239
12
votes
9
answers
2k
views
How do you show, through your narration, a hard and uncaring world?
As I've already mentioned, I'm working on a sci-fi novel.
One of the main feelings that I wanted to represent when I started is the sense of a vast, empty, artificial world, mostly cold and uncaring ...
- 15.9k
17
votes
6
answers
5k
views
Should a narrator ever describe things based on a character's view instead of facts?
There is something I find myself doing often while writing, and I don't even know what to call it, but I would like to know if its good practice. It happens when I'm writing from a third-person ...
- 586
8
votes
4
answers
660
views
Tips and tricks to describe more
I'm careful with the phrasing of this question as it is dangerously close to be opinion based. Everyone has their preference regarding the amount of description they expect to find in a work of ...
- 183
17
votes
7
answers
4k
views
Facial expressions as part of dialogue - getting rid of a verbal tic
I noticed a verbal tic in my writing:
He looked surprised
He looked confused
He looked abashed
Sometimes twice in a row:
The prince looked abashed. “I- I thought I was being polite,” ...
19
votes
6
answers
4k
views
How long should I mention an injured character’s pain?
My main character gets shot and survives. One thing that bothers me is a character who is injured and keeps going like the energizer bunny.
I try to set up for a rapid recovery, mentioning training ...
- 12.3k
18
votes
6
answers
4k
views
How to give cartography information in a fantasy setting without being too precise?
I'm writing a fantasy story set in an imaginary world. For the first time, I'm giving geographical information and... I don't really know how to give it, actually. My alpha reader told me it was hard ...
- 283
19
votes
9
answers
5k
views
Is it ok to reference something modern to give the reader a better idea of what something looks like if the book is set in the Middle Ages?
This is a random example but would it be bad if I said something like this when the book is set in a historical setting: “Edwards sword was black and shiny like a brand new car” is it not ok? Should I ...
- 1,654
14
votes
8
answers
3k
views
What are the limits to description in story writing? How do I know if I have crossed them?
Time and time again, I have been told that my unfounded focus on description distracts from the main story line.
I mostly write stories in English, which doesn't happen to be my first language but I'm ...
- 925
6
votes
4
answers
1k
views
How do you use adverbs properly in fiction writing?
How do you use adverbs properly in fiction writing?
In a related question, a reply states:
When to use [adverbs]? When your alternative would be pretentious. There are strong nouns and verbs, that ...
- 245
2
votes
1
answer
126
views
Idioms in historical fiction?
I am writing a World War II novel from the POV of a German colonel (among others). In the case of the colonel, is it appropriate to use the English idiom "top brass" in his internal dialogue? To me, ...
- 551
10
votes
6
answers
2k
views
When writing down a huge amounts of detail is inevitable
In hard-SF the writer has to adapt to the world and its limitation.
Under normal circumstances, this shouldn't a problem, as you can always make something great, even with the limitations.
However, ...
- 3,347
0
votes
4
answers
3k
views
Am I being too descriptive?
Each and every time I read my stories to people, only one comment is usually made, albeit in different ways... I'm just not sure if they're being honest, or if I am actually doing something right.
"...
- 325
4
votes
3
answers
452
views
Do Epic Fantasy and Sci-Fi books have inherently more descriptive language?
For example the book Eragon by Paolini, and Magic Kingdom by Terry Brooks. These both have lots of description. To me that means lots of showing and less telling. Other books don't seem to have ...
- 1,353
3
votes
2
answers
335
views
How to write a scene that needs a lot of detail without falling into purple prose?
I understand the "only describe what is necessary" rule. If a character's appearance is important, I'll describe it in moderation. But what if I'm writing a scene that needs a lot of description? What ...
- 1,495
1
vote
2
answers
131
views
Description: How to apply an adjective to a list of nouns without seeming redundant?
For example, in the case of this sentence:
I drove past the empty stables and servant's quarters, and after another quarter mile I entered a very large circular driveway.
Is it implied that ...
- 325
7
votes
2
answers
211
views
Sentence openings variations to avoid repeating determiners and pronounces
I have a question regarding sentence openings in English language.
When I write most of my sentences start with determiners and pronouns (personal and posessive). This gets repetative quickly.
For ...
- 857
2
votes
4
answers
9k
views
Different ways to say "I looked"?
I find myself overusing phrases like "his eyes flickered to (object/person)" and "he shifted his gaze to (object/person)". I use the words 'eyes' and 'gaze' a lot to describe what the character is ...
- 713
0
votes
3
answers
4k
views
Why do writers sometimes use so much description?
Why do many writers use a lot of description when presenting a character or a scene? Is this a writing tradition? Many characters in a book have been described in minute detail , in some ways ...
- 113
2
votes
2
answers
269
views
On mastering the art of writing descriptive passages on certain weather conditions
It is, in my opinion, a difficult task to describe certain weather conditions (e.g., an overcast sky, the falling rain, the storm, the rising of the rainbow, the falling of the snow, etc.) effectively....
user10974
10
votes
4
answers
2k
views
What's the difference between purple prose and vividly descriptive writing?
Elements of Style describes purple prose as "hard to digest, generally unwholesome, and sometimes nauseating." In short, it's ornate, contrived and breaks the narrative.
There's plenty of advice on ...
- 681
23
votes
3
answers
10k
views
What's with all the hate on adjectives and adverbs?
Ok, I'm starting to get a feel for this, but I'm hoping someone can explain it more clearly for me.
I learned in all my English classes that sensory imagery is important, which naturally involves a ...
- 786
1
vote
2
answers
1k
views
Chopped sentences with too many conjunction, and repeating the subject again and again
I have tendency to write chopped sentences with too many conjunctions, repeating the subject again and again. I don't want that but I'm not skilled in English.
For example how do write the following ...
- 191
2
votes
3
answers
221
views
Improving techniques independently: Description
How can I improve my technique in description?
Which things I should avoid in description?
How can I know, that I put "enough" description and will go to narration?
My description technique is bad (...
- 287
14
votes
3
answers
713
views
How to create space
Recently, a few snippets of my fiction have received critiques along the lines of 'Does not give a sense of space'. Or 'needs more description, sights and sounds'.
I think where I am going wrong is ...
- 462
12
votes
9
answers
3k
views
Where to find some good examples of combat or action scenes?
I always learn a lot about about writing by reading other works and following their examples. Right now I'm very bad at writing action scenes; the best I can do is write around them, describing the ...
user608
31
votes
12
answers
4k
views
What's Essential In A Combat Scene?
I've just been reading a bunch of Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books. Although they were the most enjoyable read I'd had in ages I always found myself skimming long segments that described involved ...
- 7,916
13
votes
5
answers
935
views
How much should I describe things or persons, that are not important for the story?
I discussed a book with a friend, and he disliked that the author described a person who is dying shortly after and has no further effect on the story over a page or more. The same would go for things;...
- 2,032
40
votes
8
answers
6k
views
When is it okay to "tell", instead of "show"?
One of the major mantras of writing fiction is "show, don't tell".
Is it ever okay to tell? When?
- 5,973