Questions tagged [description]
Painting a picture with a thousand words.
346
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How to write a polite quotation request email? [duplicate]
Good day! I'm working at Sales Dept. in a manufacturing enterprise. Lately my company strategy is to find other suppliers to have more competitive prices and I appointed to do this task. But I make a ...
11
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8
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Is it better to describe the main character's physical appearance early on in the story?
I'm writing a novel, and I just realized I don't describe be main character's appearance until Chapter 3 (each chapter is 1500~2000 words long and there are 25 chapters in total).
I do mention that ...
2
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1
answer
194
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Does this text flow smoothly (description of suicidal thoughts)?
So how did this animal suicide thing start? Ironically, it began with
my own death wish. But why? I had perfect health, friends and family
who cared about me, plus I had just been admitted into ...
3
votes
7
answers
502
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Beginners can break rules too?
I came across several disciplines of writing which one must know while writing (especially beginners), concerning narrative conventions and the rules of story logic.
Some of the sources for this ...
5
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1
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4k
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What techniques can be used to describe a character's terror?
I'm trying to write a stressful situation for a character (specifically she's about to be injured) and I'm trying to convey her terror at the situation.
My usual trick is to use short snappy ...
1
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1
answer
97
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Best blind sequence? [closed]
I'm trying to write a story in which the sun has essentially gone out and visibility is constantly limited, and sometimes completely gone. Being a very visual person, I'm finding it hard to describe ...
0
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2
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2k
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How to Describe a Scene from Video?
I'm new to English (three years) and I want help describing this video for my fantasy novel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymcen0EjmiU.
I don't want you to do it at my place, but I really want to ...
5
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2
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249
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RDF vocabularly for storytelling
Can anyone point me to an RDF vocabulary used for story-telling? A Resource Description Framework is a technique for structuring data in a way that computers can easily process it and connect simple ...
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2
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How can you represent music in writing
I was wondering if a character was in a nighclub or at a concert. How do you represent the music?
It got me thinking that writing is a very non musical medium and that it is actually pretty hard to ...
8
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6
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8k
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How to introduce a world that's alien to the reader
I'm writing sort of a space-opera and I was wondering what would the best way to explain everything about the world to my readers. The story is kind of a political intrigue, and it would be very easy ...
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3
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Whether to describe personality of a character or let the readers deduce it based on the actions
I am facing this situation where description of the personality of a character is quite important. Is it good to describe the personality traits or shall I let the readers deduce it based on the ...
0
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1
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Is this a good description of a jew looking out the window at nazis? [closed]
Cautiously I rose, briefly leaving his side. Turning to the lugubrious window when suddenly I was forced to duck down as cantankerous Nazis dehisced from behind great timber doors, parading across the ...
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2
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How should I handle repeating parts in a technical description?
I'm about to write a technical description for an industrial process. The description will follow logical blocks, or blocks from the PFD of the process. This a sales document aimed at engineers. ...
8
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9
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1k
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Good idea to describe the heist place before the heist begins?
I'm working on a heist scene where five thieves are supposed to enter a corporate building and steal a few documents. It's supposed to be a major scene so it won't be short. I need the readers to ...
4
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5
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5k
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Who can help me to describe the text line from my story in slow motion?
This here is a line of my story:
As we were in the middle of our conversation, I saw a blinding light heading straight for us, followed by an abrupt honk. Mom screamed as if she saw a ghost, and ...
9
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5
answers
721
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Am I breaking the "show don't tell" rule in the following passage?
Then, as if sensing my presence, the girl turned around. She looked
young. Probably sixteen or seventeen. She had long black hair, crimson
red lips, and a skin so pale it made me wonder whether ...
2
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2
answers
871
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How do I add more imagery to this short paragraph?
I am writing an essay for tenth grade, and I have to write a small story in one paragraph. With a lot of imagery (to get my teacher excited). I added some, but I don't think it's enough. This isn't ...
4
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2
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829
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Does the following piece have too much dry narration (mundane tasks, moving about)?
Tsuki woke up to the morning sun that entered through the window. She
yawned and sat on the side of the bed, rubbing her eyes. The clock on
the wall said half past ten. She brushed her teeth, ...
23
votes
3
answers
9k
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What's with all the hate on adjectives and adverbs?
Ok, I'm starting to get a feel for this, but I'm hoping someone can explain it more clearly for me.
I learned in all my English classes that sensory imagery is important, which naturally involves a ...
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1
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2k
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An adjective relating to the circus? [closed]
I'm looking for an adjective which essentially means "of or relating to the circus." My context is:
As they stood in the doorway, taking in the circus-like activities around them...
But "circus-...
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2
answers
1k
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Chopped sentences with too many conjunction, and repeating the subject again and again
I have tendency to write chopped sentences with too many conjunctions, repeating the subject again and again. I don't want that but I'm not skilled in English.
For example how do write the following ...
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3
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194
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How to express concisely the circular concept of a beginning and future simultaneously?
There are many movies/books which have an ending that is the foundation for the beginning of the story, an example is Terry Pratchett's book Pyramids. In a way these stories become trapped in a ...
2
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3
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203
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Improving techniques independently: Description
How can I improve my technique in description?
Which things I should avoid in description?
How can I know, that I put "enough" description and will go to narration?
My description technique is bad (...
3
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3
answers
953
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Critique a short essay
So There I was in the scorching, afternoon, summer heat of Cairo. It was a huge change from the UK’s mild weather, and together with the fact that I had been fasting - as in no food or drink- for 15 ...
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Using senses and similes in descriptions
I'm trying to make my descriptions to look less like a bunch of bullet points.
So I decided to use more senses and similes.
This is something I wrote:
The sun hung in the cloudless sky, like a ...
5
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4
answers
429
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Some doubts on the use of Italicized words
Okay here's the thing. After a tough verbal fight with my friend, I concluded that I will post this question here and get some concrete answers.
According to what I feel, italicized words are used
...
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4
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17k
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Is the opening of this story intriguing, "dark" and smooth? [closed]
Disclaimer: I'm not an Native English Speaker.
This is my fifth attempt of writing a short story (the previous ones are set in the same "universe" as this one).
I would like to know if the reader ...
2
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1
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5k
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Tips for describing features of unusual place that I often visit
I'm having problems describing certain parts of a place that I usually visit. Here are some pictures:
For instance, I have no idea how I should refer to the wooden platform on the left (so I just ...
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3
answers
177
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Is calling this process a "convergence" accurate and clear?
I planning to write about the convergence of our real world and the computer reality world. My plan to develop on this idea is to describe this convergence as a "merger" between our real world and the ...
5
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4
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How can I make description more natural to me?
Description is a weakness in my fiction. My understanding is that the first priority in fiction is to tell the story. Setting does this by providing props and indicating character mindsets, either ...
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4
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Confusing writing in order to show how character is falling asleep - is it OK?
Generally, writing something confusing is not good.
On the other hand, a writer should show rather than tell. (Generally.)
What I'm trying to do is imitate the way one's thoughts get all muddled ...
3
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4
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4k
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What elements should be included in a story's setting?
I know this will vary depending on the type of the story and the characters involved, not to mention the location itself. What I am looking for is some kind of guideline for identifying different ...
0
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3
answers
567
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How can this sentence better convey the immobilizing impact of fear?
Someone on another forum asked for advice on a sentence she was writing, so I thought I'd share it here and see what kind of responses we could get. The sentence in question is marked by italics. (I ...
14
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3
answers
643
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How to create space
Recently, a few snippets of my fiction have received critiques along the lines of 'Does not give a sense of space'. Or 'needs more description, sights and sounds'.
I think where I am going wrong is ...
4
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5
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594
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How can I improve this description which includes actions?
This is the beginning of a short story I'm writing (I'm not a native English speaker):
I was lying in the dark, looking at
the ceiling, counting spider webs. She
was lying right beside me. I ...
7
votes
5
answers
5k
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Writing about drug induced hallucinations and paranoia
Not long ago I wrote a short story about a mathematics graduate student on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The young student is innocent and working to finish a difficult mathematical derivation ...
2
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4
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Is this description of my small productivity application clear enough?
I wrote a small productivity application, Tomate. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I'm afraid the description of the project may not be clear enough for potential users. Can you help me improve ...
9
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7
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Writing about extreme trauma
I've just written a chapter in which one of my protagonists witnesses her entire family massacred during an invasion of her home city. This is obviously an extremely traumatic and horrifying event and,...
9
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7
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In what order should I describe a setting?
For instance I'm describing the park of an art museum in a foggy day. I'm not sure if I should start with the fog, wind, grass, threes, walking paths, buildings, stairs or something else. Is there a ...
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2
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Critique of short essay [closed]
Basically I need some critics regarding the following points:
Does this description essay archive its goal (a creepy story with a 'sappy' ending)?
How is the 'rhythm' of the story (is there sometimes ...
5
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4
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2k
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Can my paragraph use better adjectives and descriptions?
I feel my punctuation is all over the place, and the adjectives are not as charming as I think they are. If anyone has watched the beginning of the first Lord of the Rings, where the hobbit is lying ...
3
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2
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443
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First conversation scenes I've written (looking for errors, conventions, and improvements according to writing standards)
I would like to know if I'm doing something wrong (according to writing standards) in the following conversation and how to improve it to help readability, quality and feeling (making it more ...
12
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9
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3k
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Where to find some good examples of combat or action scenes?
I always learn a lot about about writing by reading other works and following their examples. Right now I'm very bad at writing action scenes; the best I can do is write around them, describing the ...
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11
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What's Essential In A Combat Scene?
I've just been reading a bunch of Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books. Although they were the most enjoyable read I'd had in ages I always found myself skimming long segments that described involved ...
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5
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How much should I describe things or persons, that are not important for the story?
I discussed a book with a friend, and he disliked that the author described a person who is dying shortly after and has no further effect on the story over a page or more. The same would go for things;...
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When is it okay to "tell", instead of "show"?
One of the major mantras of writing fiction is "show, don't tell".
Is it ever okay to tell? When?