This is the opening of a short story I'm writing (second draft):
A deep silence enveloped the room as the words escaped from my mouth. I turned to the side to look at Akiko. She was staring vacantly at the ceiling, with eyes that didn't reflect disgust, shock, nor anger. None of the reactions that I had expected. She wasn't saying anything, either. It was as if my words had sealed something within her, in the very core of her soul. I felt miles and miles away from her. Maybe what I was looking at wasn't my wife—only her dead, empty container. She was probably in a very distant place; somewhere I didn't and would never have access to.
“You really want that?” Akiko finally said, her tone was neither cold nor indifferent. Just neutral.
“Yep,” I said. “I'm been thinking about it for a while. But if you don't want to, it's OK. I don't wanna force you into anything.”
The room fell quiet again. Suddenly, I regretted bringing the topic up. What was going on with me tonight? What made me think she would agree with the whole thing? I gazed out the window. Under the moonlight, the zelkova trees were taking all kinds of strange shapes. They looked eerie, sinister, like ancient creatures from the forest. Perhaps that was what Akiko saw in me now; a monster that had been hiding in the darkness, and that had finally decided to come out. The thought was unbearable. Even worst than I had imagined.
Without being able to stand it anymore, I jumped out of bed and went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Scotch.
I'm afraid that I'm not providing enough information to keep the reader gripped (or even worst, annoying him/her for the lack of clues). I only reveal what the husband told his wife in the next scenes (the following one starts with something like: "The thought first came to my mind a few months ago..."). So the reader is left with a feeling of vagueness until then.
Will this work? Should I make the opening more explicit (e.g. directly stating what I'm hiding from the reader)?