Best humorous exaggerated comparisons

Question

I love funny comparisons in newspaper articles or other texts.

I am talking about things like "exciting like a winter morning" (except funny - I don't know any good English ones).

What are the funniest or best ones you have come across?

Answer 1

Read Pterry (Terry Pratchett), he's got lots. One I like is how he states the difference between erotic and pornographic: it's like using a feather instead of the whole chicken.

Answer 2

Douglas Adams has numerous examples.

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

Answer 3

P.G. Wodehouse is a master of this.

"Big chap with a small moustache and the sort of eye that can open an oyster at sixty paces."

"It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."

"His demeanour was that of a Napoleon who, suffering from toothache, sees his way to taking it out on one of his minor marshals."