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I recently found out an ex from 6 years ago recently published a book detailing all their past relationships leading up to their present wife. My friend read it and instantly knew when they were writing about me in it.

Half of the book was dragging me as a person through the mud and making me come off as a malicious disgusting person. It went into deep details about my life that I keep private from almost everyone. It states in the description that the book is based off of true events. The book depicts a lot that is not true. They also describe personal details and delve into weird things about me in general, some true, a lot fake. Do I have a legal ground to go against it?

My friend who read it agreed that anybody who reads it would be able to figure out who I am just by a quick search of the person's social media. I feel anxious and just don’t know what to think about it all, I was never asked for permission for my life to be in this book

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    Welcome to Writing.SE! What legal jurisdiction are you in?
    – F1Krazy ♦
    Commented Jul 30 at 12:48
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    This is closer to the purview of Law. But they don't help with specific, personal legal advice, you should write it as a hypothetical.
    – Barmar
    Commented Jul 30 at 14:35
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    @LioElbammalf There's a big difference between a TV series on a major streaming service and a self-published book. The writer will be lucky if they get a few thousand readers, compared to the millions who watched Baby Reindeer.
    – Barmar
    Commented Jul 30 at 21:36
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    @Barmar OP not being a celebrity they might not care about who knows what about them across the country. But one reader from their immediate surroundings may be enough to destroy their lives. That is, a book with only a handful of readers can mean the end of everything you have. A book by a local author about their local life might be pushed on local media and get enough local readers to become a huge problem for OP. And given the content of the book, the author might make sure the "right" people get a copy: OP's current spouse, employer, etc.
    – Ben
    Commented Jul 31 at 8:59
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    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect If there are copies of the original book already circulating around, you may accidentally draw more attention towards it. Not saying you should not do anything but do be careful.
    – Clockwork
    Commented Jul 31 at 10:56

4 Answers 4

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I recommend that you consult a lawyer.

Depending on the jurisdiction, possibly several of your rights have been infringed upon:

  • your right that private facts about you remain undisclosed
  • your right not to be depicted in a false light
  • your publicity rights, i.e. your rights to the commercial use of your likeness and life story

I would act quickly so the distribution of the book can be stopped or limited. Depending on what is said in the book, later financial recompenses might not be able to undo the damage to your public image.

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    I also would recommend that they consult a lawyer, but feel that you should also caution against unwise legal action (that might still be in the financial interest of a lawyer), see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect
    – Nobody
    Commented Jul 30 at 22:04
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    At the very least a lawyer can write a cease-and-desist letter which may well make the author and/or publisher consider withdrawing the book. That doesn't cost much.
    – Paul Johnson
    Commented Aug 1 at 15:05
  • To be fair, the Streisand effect is likely to only apply when there is some reason for the case to gain publicity (i.e. it's much more likely to affect famous people). In any case, publishing false, damaging statements about a person is grounds for liability in most jurisdictions. In Japan, they don't even need to be false (or so says some random YouTube video, so take that with a grain of salt... but maybe useful if the OP is in Japan).
    – Matthew
    Commented Aug 1 at 17:33
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You might have a case for libel against the publisher if a reasonable person would recognize that you are the individual being written about in the memoir and the assertions are false and the statements are knowingly or negligently false — meaning they lied or failed to make a reasonable effort to determine the truth of the author’s claims.

If the author self-published then you’d be suing the author.

You’d have to contact a lawyer to assess your particular situation. They can advise you on the costs of pursuing the suit and the remedies you could seek. If you are not in the public eye, the standard of proof is lower but so are the settlements compared to people in the public eye.

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  • Largely, and on top of all the details you mentioned, EDL, Jynnard would also have to show what damage the publication caused…
    – Robbie Goodwin
    Commented Aug 2 at 19:09
  • @RobbieGoodwin, I don't disagree. But, those are things that a lawyer would evaluate when taking on his case. If he won his suit, the remedy would likely reflect the damages -- to some degree.
    – EDL
    Commented Aug 2 at 22:15
  • Thanks and are you suggesting the whole Question is purely about principle? Unless that's your point, what could matter as much as what damage the publication caused…?
    – Robbie Goodwin
    Commented Aug 7 at 22:52
  • @RobbieGoodwin, I anticipate any litigation would be very expensive. I believe you’d want to make the best informed decision you could.
    – EDL
    Commented Aug 7 at 23:57
  • Good for you. Taking into account everything you've said, Barmar seemed to put it mildly. This isn't just closer to but rather, solely the purview of Law, where I sincerely hope you wouldn't have omitted either of those crucial facts?
    – Robbie Goodwin
    Commented Aug 9 at 19:51
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Be aware that a defamation case may have a lower standard of evidence than a criminal case, depending on your jurisdiction. There have been two high-profile defamation cases in Australia recently, which appear to have damaged the reputation of the person who brought the suit, and incurred considerable legal costs: see here and here. Depending on the jurisdiction, your ex might not need to prove their claims beyond reasonable doubt. I recommend that your talk to a lawyer you can trust, i.e. not an ambulance chaser.

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I feel certain that the legal issue would involve whether your name could be deduced from just the book alone. I suspect it isn't.

If you have any cause for action, I would imagine it would be the linkage on Facebook between you and the character in the book. That linkage would comprise an assertion by him that you actually did the things that the character did.

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    That seems like an unreasonable standard. If someone talks about their first wife, that is less ambiguous than "Mary Smith" for identifying a person.
    – prosfilaes
    Commented Jul 31 at 22:19
  • That's not necessarily true at all. When I read a porn story, I don't know if that guy is talking about his wife.
    – Jess Fuckett
    Commented Jul 31 at 22:55

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