I was watching some video about how to write LGBT characters and I was told that it's wrong to have your LGBT character magically find a LGBT love interest. However, my particular problem is that the fact my main character is LGBT is not the main point of the story, and I just want my main character to find a LGBT love interest as soon as possible. Is it still wrong, and if it's wrong how do I make it more palatable? I was told this was almost as bad as the "Bury your gays" trope.


  • Like the answer I gave on your other question, it's a matter of people searching for reasons to complain. Sure it's bad writing to have them magically appear but you could work around it, i don't know if it fits your story...but what if both characters got exposed/arrested at the same time for being LGBT and forced to work together to get out of a negative situation?
    – A.bakker
    Jan 4, 2023 at 7:22
  • 1
    Can you link the article for context? Jan 4, 2023 at 11:02
  • I think there's a distinction to be made between "finding a love interest as soon as possible within the narrative" (which is what you're referring to) and "finding a love interest by sheer magic" (which is what the article referred to). It's possible to "magically" find a love interest at the very end of a story. Did the article define what was meant by "magically finding a love interest"?
    – F1Krazy
    Jan 4, 2023 at 12:23
  • Why not just start the story with the love interest established if it isn't the focus?
    – Allan
    Jan 6, 2023 at 2:04
  • Stories start where they get interesting. Or at least, they start where the groundwork for what makes them interesting is being laid. If that point happens to be the character finding a particular love interest, that is the natural beginning of the story.
    – Jedediah
    Jan 6, 2023 at 15:02

2 Answers 2


Is it "as soon as possible" from the perspective of the story, or the in-universe events? If the story, then I don't really see what's wrong with it either. Finding each other can even be the starting point of the plot, why not?

I can understand the argument if they find each other too quickly and easily from the perspective of in-universe events.

A gay person in a heteronormative and gay-hostile environment is likely to...
- have trouble even realising that the all-permeating narrative of "you're gonna find yourself a nice woman/man and have kids" doesn't really apply in their case;
- struggle with self-acceptance;
- fear outing themself;
- feel like they're alone because the other gay people are also hiding it;
- fear not just rejection but downright violence if they confess their feelings;
- fear violence against themself and their beloved if they get together;
- and this isn't meant to be an exhausting list.
(That's, of course, on top of the basic statistic probability of having crushes on people with incompatible orientation, which boosts one's rejection ratio even when the society is totally accepting. And you know - if not from personal experience, then from your friends and from media, too - that finding a partner isn't exactly easy for straight people either.)

You try getting a date in that sort of terrain!

If the story establishes this kind of setting, and then just glosses over it and makes all the obstacles magically disappear for the heroes, that's where it gets offensive. It's dismissive to the hardships that many real people have faced, throughout history and the present. The point is to acknowledge what it means and not let it be just a backdrop with no effect on the situation on the stage, if you catch what I'm trying to say.

That said, a society isn't a hivemind, and you can make things a little easier for your heroes by having them meet through some kind of friend group or club that's more accepting than the mainstream. After all, people from minorities not fully accepted by the overall population do tend to gravitate to such places if they can find them.


No. Why?

Think. What rhymes with Radar?

Like people seem to find each other despite negative consequences. This is entirely possible because people can’t change who they are just because they might live in a highly oppressive or lethal society. They will and Do find each other.

Whoever created the video that teaches that it’s wrong for you to create LGBT characters that find a love interest sooner than They think it should occur doesn’t understand statistics or the range of humanly possible situations. It IS well within the realm of possibility. You should not be overly concerned with one person’s demands upon your creative work simply because they feel you haven’t unlocked the same level of humanity as they have. It is as if you should not create LGBT characters unless you follow the LGBT Character Creation Handbook using the special dice and add the required Flair and Charisma bonus for male and female characters and the dual bonus for NB characters.

Ignore any external guidelines for character creation placed upon you by others. Short of creating a bad caricature or a stereotype. It seems they want you to use a stereotypical character of the LGBT kind.

Master has given you a sock. You are now free. Use your own humanity and sensibility as a creative person. Art by committee is fascism. I can’t encourage you enough to do your own thing.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie didn’t ask Charles Schultz for permission to meet each other, or for him to consult the oracle of possibilities. They met somewhere, likely much sooner than we first meet them.

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