Writing better result sections in scientific articles, non-native English writer

Question

I'm currently doing my master thesis in Ecology and now writing my result section. I'm a non-native English writer and I would like to ask for some help structuring my sentences and how to become a better writer. The sample I provide is of my results. I would like to improve the 'flow' of my writing, now I feel I'm just writing one and one sentence independently of the latter, giving a terrible 'flow'. Here I'm describing the results from a boxplot:

In the treatments with reference water (pH 7.0) and acidic Al-poor media (pH 5.8) A. aquaticus showed a median normoxic O2-consumption of 0.023 and 0.028, the IQR was 0.029 and 0.045 µgO2/mg DW-1 ·h-1, respectively. Whereas for the acidic Al-rich media (pH 5.8) the median normoxic O2-consumption was lower at 0.006 and the IQR was 0.003 µgO2/mg DW-1 ·h-1 (Figure X4). The median critical O2 concentration ([O2]crit (mg O2/L-1) for A. aquaticus was 1.56 and 1.35, with an IQR of 0.50 and 0.52 [O2]crit (mg O2/L-1), when exposed to reference water (pH 7.0) and acidic Al-poor media (pH 5.8), respectively. For animals exposed to the treatment acidic Al-rich media (pH 5.8) the median critical O2 concentration was 0.90 and the IQR 0.54 [O2]crit (mg O2/L-1).

Another sample of my writing:

Water pH was very stable in the mortality and respirometry experiments, with only minor fluctuations (Table X3). For the mortality experiment the reference water varied by ±0.11SD from its mean pH 7.03. While variations for the acidic Al-poor and acidic Al-rich were ±0.48SD and ±0.38SD from their mean of pH 5.73 and 5.72, respectively. For the respirometry experiment, the reference water varied with ±0.18SD from its mean pH 7.04. And the acidic Al-poor and the acidic Al-rich varied with ±0.59SD and ±0.17SD from their mean of pH 5.94 and pH 5.95, respectively. The same applies here for the variation in the acidic Al-poor treatment, malfunctioning of the ball valve mentioned above.

Answer 1

I’m not an academic writer, but I think your problem lies in basic formal grammar.

In the examples you provide, when you use conjunctions (whereas, and, while), they should be preceded by a comma, not a full stop. This will help your writing flow:

For the mortality experiment the reference water varied by ±0.11SD from its mean pH 7.03, while variations for the acidic Al-poor and acidic Al-rich were ±0.48SD and ±0.38SD from their mean of pH 5.73 and 5.72, respectively. For the respirometry experiment, the reference water varied with ±0.18SD from its mean pH 7.04, and the acidic Al-poor and the acidic Al-rich varied with ±0.59SD and ±0.17SD from their mean of pH 5.94 and pH 5.95, respectively.

Unfortunately, using conjunctions correctly may also make some of your sentences rather long, which is not necessarily desirable. You might therefore want to consider using some conjunctive adverbs (however, nevertheless, consequently) that can be used at the beginnings of sentences. Although your sentences would still be short, conjunctive adverbs make connections between two sentences, so they make your writing flow in a different way:

For the mortality experiment the reference water varied by ±0.11SD from its mean pH 7.03. However, variations for the acidic Al-poor and acidic Al-rich were ±0.48SD and ±0.38SD from their mean of pH 5.73 and 5.72, respectively.

In formal writing, you can start a sentence with subordinating conjunctions, but then you have to structure your sentence differently and put the main clause afterwards:

While variations for the acidic Al-poor and acidic Al-rich were ±0.48SD and ±0.38SD from their mean of pH 5.73 and 5.72, respectively, for the mortality experiment the reference water varied by ±0.11SD from its mean pH 7.03.

However, this can make a long sentence even more difficult to read. Since you’re not a native English speaker, I’d be inclined to stick to simpler structures so that you convey your scientific results clearly.

I should mention that if you are writing informally, it’s fine to start a sentence with a conjunction. But it tends to create a certain effect. And I wouldn’t recommend trying it in formal writing unless you are absolutely sure of the effect you are achieving. I quite like the explanations here: https://languagetool.org/insights/post/style-conjunctions/

Answer 2

If you are a non-native English speaker, I would suggest you should use tools like Grammarly and hyperwriteai. In fact, Grammarly is a great tool that even professional native English-speaking writers also use.