Referring to a main character's father as "his father" vs. "their father" when siblings are in scene

Question

I've got a close third person POV centering on a boy, Ray. When I refer to his father it's usually as "his father" or "Ray's father". I've got one scene in which Ray's brothers are present. I'm not sure how to handle "his father" vs. "their father". If I use "their father", it seems a bit awkward. If I continue with "Ray's father" or "his father", it sounds like the other boys are adopted or are step brothers.

When Ray and his father are alone, that's how I refer to him: "his father". It's just when the whole family is there (so ditto for "Ray's mother" vs "their mother"), that I have problems.

Note that I refer to Ray's brothers as his brothers (not step-brothers, adopted, etc.).

Answer 1

All depends on the context

For the most part, if you are following a close third person POV, it would be "his father". But when context of the sentence requires a different form, like "All children stayed in the room with their father", you can use "their".

P.S. Of course if Ray was using "they" pronoun, this whole problem would be avoided ;)

Answer 2

If you are in close third, you can stay with 'his father' if that's how Ray thinks of the man. By going deeper into close third, that approach will work better.

You can 'hang a lampshade' on that approach by following up with a thought from Ray that his father was also his brothers' father, and that perhaps he should think of him as 'their father,' but in this moment he couldn't, because of some reason or other.

You can alternatively rework the passage, depending on the number of instances. You can move some occurrences into dialog, where one of the others (or Ray) addresses him as "Dad". You can shift some of the characters, too, that's another option. Bring in a family friend to fill the role the father is currently filling in those cases. By doing that, you have the latitude of using a given name. Or, you could establish at the outset that Ray addresses his father by name. (That's usually not recommended, but it's a device some stories use.)

Good luck with it.

Answer 3

You coul;d identify the father with a name, say 'John, Ray's Father". Then you could use "Ray's father" most of the time, but use "John" for variety or when some of Ray's siblings are in the scene.

Answer 4

I use close and deep third-person POV synonymously.

I have a rule of thumb for deep third-person POV:

Don't do anything that makes the reader see the POV character from the outside.

Therefore, things like "a brilliant smile" as in "I smiled a brilliant smile" are out. Unless you're in front of a mirror or looking at yourself on a video recording it sounds off...

You can use the "I"-test to figure out if your deep POV is working or not.

However, that doesn't work with "his father". "My father" sounds just like something you could be thinking, so "his father" passes the "I"-test.

However, at least to me, "his father" creates a picture of the character, his father, and their relationship. At a distance.

"His father" doesn't pass the "don't make the reader see the POV character" test.

Of course, when your deep POV character is thinking about someone else, it's ok, even needed to make a visual picture, but you should avoid doing so for the POV character.

So, what to use instead?

What does Ray use when thinking about his father? Father, dad, pop? Use that instead.

Take:

His father was always late for work.

...and turn it into...

Father/dad/pop was always late for work.

That doesn't create an image that includes the POV character.

You also get a bonus in that it's almost as if it was the POV character's thought, but without having to get awkward with altered perspective or tense for thoughts. ("My dad is always...")

This also works regardless of if your perspective shifts into plural deep POV (?) or stays in singular. "Father" is "Father" regardless of if it's "their father" or "his father".

This brings me to another rule of thumb I use for deep POV: Remove as many possessive pronouns ("his", "my", "their"...) as possible from the text. (In fact, I think you could safely remove them all!)

And while you're at it, try to limit the use of all the other pronouns as well.

E.g.

He picked up the old, heavy book. It was dusty. The pages were so frail they rustled when he turned them over. Finally, he found chapter ten. It contained a description of ...

Could be turned into.

The book was dusty and heavy, the pages so frail they rustled. Chapter ten contained a description of ...

I say "try to remove pronouns" because this one can get awkward if you apply it in a hundred percent of the cases. (Or maybe it's just extremely hard to do but done successfully will create the next great novel?)