How does one go about describing subtle movements in characters actions?

Question

I'm struggling with figuring out a way to describe subtle movements in a scene that wouldn't normally be picked up on if not shown. For example:

A character is being put in a prison cell and another character slips them a key or a small pin behind their back.

Or:

Like in the movie Gladiator, when Maximus kneels before Commodus in the Colosseum, he picks up a broken arrowhead and conceals it behind his hand and forearm.

How does one describe a simple, subtle action/movement that would be unknown had it not been focused on or shown at all? Or would I just not describe that and then jump straight into what happens next? Would I just jump right into the character "fumbling to get the pin in the key hole while the guards are distracted"?

Answer 1

I think you just reveal it to the audience (reader or viewer). I think you have to, or you will create a deus ex machina; the audience will say "WTF? How did he get an arrowhead?!?"

In a movie script, this would be Action description; no dialogue is spoken. (In fact in movies visually passed information without any dialogue is often preferred.)

In a novel, it is a narrator's job, and the time restrictions of a movie do not apply:

The second cop cuffed Darius, his hands behind his back, and leaned in to speak in his ear.

"I don't why we even bother with your kind. Fucking traitors."

Simultaneously, Darius felt the cop press something cold into his palm. Metal. A key. He closed his fist over it.

Darius turned his head toward the cop. "Fuck you!"

The cop slapped him in the back of the head. "Load 'im up!"

Answer 2

Go Bold or Go Home or Be Chill Little Fonzies

The examples you cite from movies take great pains to ensure the audience knows what action the character. It's only implied to be subtle from the in-world characters sharing the stage with Maximus.

From the storytelling viewpoint, do the same thing in your writing that the filmmakers did and show the moment clearly. How much you weight it depends on the consequences of that action.

For instance, if it is a thing of no great matter. Then describe it an action beat. "John's fingers brushed his wallet." This might suggest a character is wary of pick pockets or is speculating about making a purchase. A few sentences later, resolve whatever it is that caused the action. This is the kind of thing to do when you've decided in this scenario, it's not truly important, and that a skimming reader might miss the action beat, and it still works.

On the other end of the scale, you decided it is really important. It might start as an action beat or it might get is own first sentence of a paragraph, or it might get setup and described in narrative action.

"Max saw Empii walking towards him. Kneeling to the sands, making his obeisance, his fingers dug for a broken eclair. Its creamy goodness, filled him with joy, knowing Empii's allergies were about to be his death."

But it gets the action, then the character reacts emotionally to that action, Bells and whistles telling the reader this is important, because you don't want a skimming reader to miss it.

Answer 3

Don't go for the obvious.

You want to describe a subtle, but highly significant action, don't describe the action. Describe the effects.

Your about-to-be-imprisoned character might feel cold metal against their palm which quickly closes around the object, releasing a surge of hope. They look down, wary of revealing anything that might result in the guards finding out.

In the Gladiator scene, rather than focusing on the positive action, you could focus on nobody noticing it, and spend more time describing what other people's attention was focused on, building tension that way.