I’m struggling to clearly yet briefly explain what’s going on. I’m fairly sure this sentence is grammatically correct, but it still sounds clunky and confusing.
For context, my POV character sits down at a table with a lot of other people. A few of them notice her at first, but the rest only do when she’s addressed by another character.
Everyone who hadn’t already turned in my direction.
Even if I try rephrasing it, it still seems off.
Everyone who hadn’t turned to me already did so now.
Should I split this sentence up into different parts, or is it clear enough as it is?