While writing dialogue, I came across this confusion. There are some moments when the characters are deep in their thoughts (past troubling thoughts), and something happens that makes them flip-out. This is the voice I am trying to capture.
Davis walked towards, and stopped close to me — he was tall — he tried to look me in the eyes, but I kept dodging them as I look around trying to find a place to focus on.
“You walked passed me—” he began.
“Yeah? Sue me then!” I hissed at his face, and walked away, towards the stone.
The (punctuation of the) yeah? part in the above example... it feels like the voice isn't properly captured.
Should I use
or it is looking just fine?
It feels simply like -- (we normally say this sentence in a gentle tone) Yeah, what's your point? type. Every bit of advice is much appreciated. Thank you.