How should my protagonist refer to my male character who is 18?

Question

I am writing a part where the sixteen-year-old protagonist meets a male character who is eighteen-years-old. I am not sure how to refer to him - boy or man.

The male character is legally an adult, he has a job and makes his own money. The chapter is written from the protagonist's perspective, third-person narrative, and while she is notified of the male character's job, she doesn't know how old he is. She simply takes a wild guess that he is eighteen at most. What would make more sense: her referring to him as a boy or a man?

Answer 1

Make it ambiguous:

If the woman can't tell how old he is, she may refer to him either way. If your point of view allows it, show her having an internal debate about it. If she's not sure, make a bit of a game of it. This, BTW is a great opportunity to add a description of him, and also reveal your MC's thinking and frame of reference. She obliquely tries to find out how old he is. She refers to him by his full name (possibly awkwardly). Once she knows he has a regular job and isn't in high school, the proper character would refer to him as a man or possibly a young man. But even calling someone a young man can convey childhood ("Excuse me young man,") if she was both older, or in this case if she views his actions as being childish.

It doesn't REALLY matter which she decides to use, but I agree that if your MC's voice is well established, you'll be able to tell how she would give the usage. My characters start sounding a certain way. If she was significantly older (I know, you said 16; just being thorough), EVERY male is "young man." If she's snarky and sarcastic, she might refer to him as "Babyface" or "boy" (in THAT tone). If she's insecure or attracted to him, she'll waffle around a lot. A respectful voice will mean she calls him "Sir" regardless of age.

So do what works best to convey information about both characters. This can be a good way to show not tell.

Answer 2

There's no definitive answer to this question, because it depends entirely on the POV character, who exists only in your mind. How would she refer to him?

My own instincts align with those of @DM_with_secrets (from the comments) --an American teenager would probably describe another teenager neither as a "boy" or a "man" but as a "guy."

Answer 3

You could call him a teen or a teenager, if the protagonist thinks from his appearance that he is over 13 and under 20, but doesn't know if he is a legal adult or a legal minor.

You could look up definitions and synonyms of "boy" and "man" to find words which are synonyms of both.

Here is a link to about two dozen synonyms for boy:

https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/boy[1]

And here is a link to a list of synonyms for man:

https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/man[2]

Words which are on both lists include fellow, and guy. Other lists may have more words used for both "boy" and "man".

If the protagonists dislikes him a first sight she might think of him as a "jerk". If she thinks he is really good looking she might think of him as a "hunk" or a "dreamboat" or other slang term with the same meaning.

Maybe she thinks of him as a 'boy" sometimes and a "man" other times.

I note that in Star Trek: The Original Series the main characters who were in their thirties and forties sometimes called other adult characters "boys" or "girls". They called several adult women "girls", and in "Shore Leave" Yeoman Tonia Barrows calls herself a "girl" at least once, despite the actress being 33 years and 9 months old when her scenes were filmed. In "Balance of Terror" Dr. McCoy calls Lt. Robert Tomlinson a "boy" despite him being portrayed by an actor 26 years old.

PS I remember my grandmother talking about her friends as the girls. And though they may have been younger, they were certainly old women.

Answer 4

Young man

There is no need to use only one word.

Answer 5

It is unusual to refer to any one person as "boy" or "man".

It is common to refer to groups like this. For example "Most construction workers are men" or "There is a group of boys coming over for my son's birthday party".

This emphasizes the speaker is unfamiliar with the group. Likewise if you refer to one person as a "man" then it emphasizes unfamiliarness. For example "There are two men ahead of me in the queue" implies the two men are strangers.

To answer your question, at the very start your protagonist should only call him a boy/man at the very beginning, assuming she meets him as a complete stranger, and then based on how old/mature he appears to her at the time. Of course "teenager" and "young man" also work here.

If they do not meet as strangers then she should refer to him by their relationship. For example if he works as a butcher and they meet at the meat counter she calls him the "butcher" or perhaps "butcher's assistant" since he looks fairly young.

Shortly afterwards they learn each others' names and this problem goes away. From then on boy/man should only be used to emphasize matureness. For example "Derek isn't like the other boys I've gone out with. He's not a boy, he's a man".

Answer 6

It depends on her (and him)!

Whichever word she uses reflects on her opinion of her own maturity as well as his.

So if she is a youthful or still slightly childish 16 year old she'll probably use the word "Man" whereas if she sees herself as mature (perhaps more mature than him?), or if she is a little haughty, she might use the word "Boy".

Likewise, if the 18 year old is developed, mature, tall or broad-shouldered, and deep voiced, she might call him a man, but if he is a bit immature or a bit weedy or introverted or physically small, she would be more likely to call him a "boy".

Answer 7

It is up to you how you want to refer to him as.
I simply describe the character age the first time I introduce them, and then call them by the name from there on.

The reason is that I use the Biblical definition of Man
Male - someone who is born with the plumbing

Boy - someone who is still reliant and dependent on someone else to take care of them
Seriously... I've met 17 year old MEN who work to take care of their single mother... and I've met 39 year old boys who still trying to play gangster

Man - someone who can take care of themselves as well as taking care of someone else