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David Gemstone dives his head in a bucket full of water. "Bang" he hears a sound outside. He pulls out his revolver and walks out of the bathroom. "Who is it?" he asked with a stunned face. He checks the first corridor... Empty... He walks to second one, empty too... He walks to the smaller one fully sure of intruders... Empty! He was stunned a bit and checked properly. He saw nothing so turned back to face a man who held a gun his hand... "Bang" and a flash of lightning occurred outside. And the next moment we see in the deception of the silent night a blood stained Gemstone was found on a couch without a pulse.... So is this a good beginning for a story that I am writing as a 13 year old????

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    Welcome to Writing.SE! I'm afraid that requests for writing critiques are off-topic here. – F1Krazy Nov 1 '20 at 9:44
  • Nothing is wrong with thirteen year old writing! A lot of the people on this website are around thirteen! Including me! – The-Huntress Nov 1 '20 at 16:04
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It could be. Depends what you do next with it. Don't get me wrong, so far this sounds like it could be a great beginning for your story. However, instead of worrying about whether or not this is a good beginning, try focusing on just writing the whole story. Presumably this is your first draft. At this point, don't think about the wording or chapters or phrasing. Just focus on writing the story. It's okay for it to be horrible. It's okay for it to sound so bad you're not sure anyone but you could read it. Just write it. The polishing comes after you already have the story plot and idea all written out. So, to summarize, write the entire story first. Then afterwards, once the entire story is written out, worry about improving and turning it into a good story. first draft quote first draft quote

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