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I'm writing a blog post about the impacts of an autoimmune disease. The sentence I'm trying to construct looks like this:

"The disease importunately follows me around like a god damn..."

I'm struggling to come up with something better than "... Puppy who lost his ball."

Any suggestions? The cruder, the better. A pop culture reference would be awesome!

I'm stuck.

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    You already posted this on English.SE (where I believe it's more suitable anyway) and accepted an answer. Is there any reason you're reposting it here? Cross-posting is generally frowned upon on Stack Exchange. – F1Krazy Aug 22 at 9:06
  • Flies follow trash. Some people follow their crushes around. Stalkers (obviously) follow people around. Magnets follow other magnets. Idk – Tasch Aug 23 at 3:55
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I'm not quite getting the emotional effect you're shooting for. The disease follows me around like a:

  • bad memory.
  • black cloud.
  • stain on my soul.
  • poison in my veins.
  • sad, needy child demanding my attention.
  • wad of gum on my shoe - always sticking, dragging me down.
  • broken heart.
  • note pinned to my sleeve telling me I'm different and will never be quite whole again.
  • Sheldon going "Penny, Penny, Penny."
  • an unhealing wound hidden under my clothing constantly oozing pus.

There's no end to the options.

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I suppose you could say, "The disease follows me around...

  • like a moth drawn to a flame. (pretty cliche)
  • like a crazy ex. (also cliche)
  • like a bloodhound tracking down a stag.
  • like a mosquito/Great White/vampire drawn to blood.
  • like a curse/nightmare that reminds me everyday of my terrible luck/life.
  • like the soul of a dead man who swore upon his deathbed that he would haunt me until I meet my demise and take my rightful place in the underworld." (only if you want to be super dramatic)

Depending on the context and if you are willing to reword the sentence a bit, you could describe the disease as a scar. Sorry, none of these are entirely crude, but I hope they at least help you come up with something far better than my tired mind could. I'll write anything else I come up with. Good luck!

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