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my name is Christine. I'm writing a book, and I feel like it would be right to include a sex scene.

both characters are male, and both virgins as well, and I've never written a sex scene nor had sex.

I don't want it to be too detailed, and I prefer no talking, just describing how it was.

I can handle a post-sex scene, I just really need some help; how do I describe the first time? what adjectives should I use?

thank you in advance, Christine.

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    Have you compared any sex scenes to learn what you like and don't like about them? 'Without looking like a fool' is always a goal – it's a presumed goal at all times in all things (similar to 'not falling off a bridge and dying'. Tells us nothing about your scene)…. Also, there are very different ways to have sex, different sexual 'roles' that most people are inclined, expectations based on their cultural understanding of gender and sexuality, and whether anyone can overhear. That they are inexperienced makes me (a reader) have certain expectations how it would go, but it's your story. – wetcircuit Apr 29 '20 at 12:45
  • When you say "I prefer no talking, just describing how it was", do you just mean that you don't want to write the dialogue out, or that you don't want there to be any? Because those are two quite different scenes. And as @wetcircuit says, there are many many different ways this should go, and I don't think you need to worry about adjectives until you've made some big decisions about the scene :) – DM_with_secrets Apr 29 '20 at 12:54
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    Also, do you actually want to write / include a sex scene, or do you just feel like you ought to? If you actually want to, I would start by trying it - you said you've never written a sex scene, so try writing one, or five, and see how they end up. That way you'll have a better idea of what you need to fix :) – DM_with_secrets Apr 29 '20 at 14:01
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    Does this answer your question? How do I handle teenage sex in books for teenagers? – Jason Bassford Apr 29 '20 at 19:43
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    It's a generic situation, and we know nothing about these boys, the setup, or aftermath..., so there's nothing we can offer since it's so broad ('flat' might be another way to say it). Nice kids, 1st-time love, no conflicts and it all goes smoothly…? if you insist, but maybe that's why you're having problems writing. Think about their character traits, and extrapolate that trait in how they approach this. Is one a 'look before you leap' and the other cautious? Does one resist? Does one pounce? Is it polite? Are they friends? Why now? What's the catalyst...? Do angels sing? Do wolves howl? – wetcircuit Apr 29 '20 at 21:51
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The most important thing is to understand why the sex scene is in your story.

Are you trying to inform the reader about the characters' emotional states? Are the things they do during the scene going to be plot relevant? Are you trying to entertain or titillate the readers?

Once you know what you are trying to accomplish, you can figure out how you will achieve those goals. Choose adjectives and descriptors that will emphasize the mood that you wish to convey, and draw attention to the aspects of the scene that are important.

And if you can't figure out what the scene is adding to your story, maybe you don't need it at all. A fade to black that cuts straight to the pillow talk is perfectly acceptable if that is where the important details of your story are.

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Don't worry about seeming foolish, just write a draft of the scene anyway. Share the draft with acquaintances who have had the experience you want to describe, and ask for their advice. Listen closely and make note of phrases and details that make the scene more authentic. Then, rewrite the scene a few times and consider it done. Never disclose your sources.

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