0

I am just starting out my novel, if I can get this quotation punctuation correctly it'll massively help me throughout the book, I need your help!

“In six months time Vledos Manis will be leaving Moran due to the periodic Rotation. He has served his twenty-year tenure as Consul, of Moran. We want the handover to be as smooth as possible for the incoming new Consul, Martalus Tollen, and his Legion. For that, I have come here for your reassurance that it will be so.” Aumerien Ikhrane, a spokesperson for Vledos Manis, said calmly as he sipped his cup of alchur.

He sat on a plastic ebony chair; one of a pair. On the other one sat Jehkara, the Dib, leader of the Ghonian people. Jehkara had no surname. A man lost his surname upon becoming a Dib; it was the custom. If a man on the street were to refer to Jehkara, someone would naturally ask, “Which Jehkara?”

“The Dib Jehkara,” the response normally was, and that’s how people knew.

“Five hundred and forty days in a year and no less than one hundred of them you come to my fortress, Aumerien. Have I never reassured you?”

I'm just wondering if I have my capitalisation and commas right. I had a look at the Chicago Manual of Style but it was a bit confusing, plus different websites are slightly different.

Thanks

1

Here's my crack at it (but don't assume I'm 100% correct xD):

“In six months' time, Vledos Manis will be leaving Moran due to the periodic Rotation. He has served his twenty-year tenure as Consul of Moran. We want the handover to be as smooth as possible for the incoming new Consul, Martalus Tollen, and his Legion. For that, I have come here for your reassurance that it will be so,” Aumerien Ikhrane, a spokesperson for Vledos Manis, said calmly as he sipped his cup of alchur.

He sat on a plastic ebony chair; one of a pair. On the other one sat Jehkara, the Dib, leader of the Ghonian people. Jehkara had no surname. A man lost his surname upon becoming a Dib. It was the custom. If a man on the street were to refer to Jehkara, someone would naturally ask, “Which Jehkara?”

“The Dib Jehkara,” the response normally was, and that’s how people knew.

“Five hundred and forty days in a year, and no less than one hundred of them you come to my fortress, Aumerien. Have I never reassured you?”

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.