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I noticed that I use "she", "he", and "they"- and a lot of sentences also begin with the aforementioned pronouns. How can I steer away from doing this so often as I write in 3rd person fiction? HERE IS AN EXAMPLE:

Rosa took off her shoes, and stepped onto the hardwood floors in the old Victorian home. She peered into the kitchen as she stood in the dining room, but there was no sight of a single soul around. She walked further down the hall, and that's when she heard the sounds of giggling voices, so she stopped midway. The voices sounded as if they were coming from the back bedroom, so she then proceeded to walk that way. Her heart thumped against her chest. She took one step forward, and that's when she heard it, the deafening scream.

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    It would help if you posted an excerpt of your writing to give you specific tips, but I've answered a similar question here: writing.stackexchange.com/a/49776/39422 -- experiment with sentence structure, rephrase things, and read it aloud, test whether repetitions come across as annoying. – Friendly Neighborhood Demon Feb 28 at 19:31
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    Not sure whether to post this as a comment or answer. There's not normally a problem with using pronouns too much. Pronouns are meant to be used a lot. What's problematic is if really specific, peculiar words are used a lot. If you give some examples of your writing that would help. But just as a general statement, I've never read something and thought that there were too many pronouns. – levininja Feb 28 at 21:50
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    As levninja said, I think the pronouns are fine. The problem is it reads like a string of run-on exposition, like the narrator is describing every move in a pantomime. See Susan Dennard's Filter Words, she lists specific words she avoids, but the concept is this run-on exposition makes the reader feel distant to the character (sometimes you want distance). It's the opposite of a Jane Austen narrator jumping into people's heads for random thoughts and biased reactions, feels livelier and more immediate by switching it up. – wetcircuit Feb 29 at 20:47
  • @wetcircuit, and how do you suggest I switch it up? Should I write more about the character's emotions and thoughts? All feedback is welcome. – Dawn Kelli Mar 2 at 16:29
  • Do a search for "writing filter words. other people have described it better than Dennard. Phrases like "She heard…" "She saw…" "She walked…" make the reader feel distant, like looking through the wrong end of a telescope, like reading directions in a play. "She stepped onto hardwood floor…" becomes something more sensory or persona, the sound of a nail or her feelings about the empty kitchen; "She heard giggling voices…" becomes "A whisper… voices… Wait, giggling? No one is… the back bedroom is empty… Isn't it…?" –– That sort of idea. Put the reader in the room, rather than narrator talk. – wetcircuit Mar 3 at 3:55
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Having read your example it seems to me that the reason it sounds like your overusing ‘she’ is because, particularly when used to start the sentence, ‘she’ tells the reader which character is doing stuff in the sentence. In this case however Rosa is the only character in the scene so continuously telling me that she is the one doing everything is superfluous and it breaks the flow.

So to rewrite your example:

Rosa took off her shoes, and stepped onto the hardwood floors in the old Victorian home. Peering into the kitchen, from the dining room, there was no sight of a single soul around. Walking down the hall the sounds of giggling voices stopped her midway. They sounded as if they were coming from the back bedroom, so she then proceeded to walk that way. Her heart thumped against her chest. One step forward, and that's when she heard it, the deafening scream.

So I’ve not removed all the shes, having some if fine. I’ve just changed a lot of things from being ‘she peered’ to ‘peering’ and this works because it’s obvious who must be doing the peering. In a scene with more than one character you would clearly still need to specify who did what, but even then if you specify that Rosa is doing something then afterwards anything else that is done will be assumed to be being done by Rosa, until you say another character is doing something.

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    Thanks so much for your advice and feedback! It is greatly appreciated. I will have to amend the first 8 chapters of my book, as most of my sentences begin with "He", "She", or "They". Instead of specifying who is performing the action, I will just introduce the action in a new sentence as long as the initial character is specified at the start of the sentence so my reader knows which character I'm describing. – Dawn Kelli Mar 2 at 17:54
  • @DawnKelli I mean, presumably you were going to redraft your book anyway, right? So this is another thing you can keep in mind as you do :) – DM_with_secrets May 3 at 7:40

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