I'm not writing erotica - I'm writing fantasy and sci-fi. But sometimes my characters make love, sometimes in ways I cannot be familiar with. In one story, it's two guys (I'm a girl). In another story, there's a character who uses a wheelchair.
How do I research this, so I can get the relevant scenes right?
I have gay friends, and I have a friend who uses a wheelchair, but I can't exactly ask them about positions and the like.
As for Google, Google is all too happy to provide me with porn. And the thing about porn is a) I'm not actually comfortable watching it, and b) porn is not realistic. I need to understand what a scene like that would really be like, what's realistic.
Of course, since I'm not writing erotica, I can lower the curtain on a scene, describe more of what the characters feel than what's actually going on, etc. But the thing is, to describe a scene, I need first to see it, and then to pick out what I want to focus on. And here, particularly in the second case, I see a lot of question marks. "Lowering the curtains" has to be my artistic choice, not an "I don't actually know what's happening, so I'm going to skip it".