6

Good day,

I have the following sentence:

Nowadays to reach the mass audience, you don't have to rely on traditional media. Instead, you can embrace social networks such as live video streams.

The point of this is to show that we have so many ways of distributing a movie to the audience that taking the movie theatre route is not a necessity. However, I wouldn't want to offend the movie theatres. Hence, I would like to reword it to show there are options outside the big screen for new movie distribution, especially the indie films.

closed as off-topic by Craig Sefton, Galastel supports GoFundMonica, user2686, Pawana, robertcday Jun 14 '18 at 8:38

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "This question appears to be off-topic because asking what to write or asking for help rephrasing a sentence or passage are both off-topic here, as such questions are very unlikely to help anybody else." – Craig Sefton, Galastel supports GoFundMonica, Community, Pawana
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • "you can embrace" phrase (without qualifiers) has a positive connotation. To make it sound neutral, you can try "one can embrace" or "you can also use". Also, "you don't have to rely on X" implies that the X may be unreliable. – Alexander Jun 13 '18 at 20:20
2

To recommend a second option without favouring either one, you need to refer to them equally. That means avoiding negative language and being quite explicit with what you are implying

Your quote (emphasis mine)

Nowadays to reach the mass audience, you don't have to rely on traditional media. Instead, you can embrace social networks such as live video streams.

The phrase "you don't have to rely", though true, implies we are somehow trying to avoid relying on it, perhaps because of some negative quality. Especially saying "instead" implies you should stop using the traditional media as well as take up the new option.

Instead, we want to offer the new option without detracting from the old one:

Nowadays to reach the mass audience you have traditional media and online options, such as social networks and live video streams.

Unfortunately being fair to the first option takes away the emphasis from the second option, so you may want to focus on it in the next sentence/paragraph ("We're going to focus on the online options available"). The trick is not to detract from one for the sake of the other, merely put your focus on one of a set of options.

  • 1
    Another possibility would be be to emphasize both, as in: “To reach a mass audience, traditional media are an established and valid option. Besides this, nowadays your options also include online services such as social networks and live video streams.” – celtschk Jun 14 '18 at 8:14
1

I'd say,

Nowadays, there are a variety of ways to reach a mass audience that have been added to the traditional venues like theaters and DVD. For example, social networks and live video streams are viable new choices.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.