I know questions should be general, but I think the problems I suffer from are very general. Filtering and extreme wordiness. I previously believed wordiness was positive, as I thought it added color and made the language more fun to read. I learned that this was wrong after asking a question asking if my language was too repetitive. This question can be found here: How to avoid using "he/she/it" repetitively in action This might further illuminate what I'm talking about. Also, my question was put on hold because someone thought it was a request for critique. People didn't seem to have a problem dishing critique on my last question. The question itself might not be general, but the lessons to be learnt from it are. I, and whoever finds this question, learn what filtering and wordiness is, and they also learn how to avoid it.

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    I have deleted the unnecessarily long sample text from your question. If we cannot answer your question without reading your whole text, then it is a question for critique and off topic here. You may give a brief example from your own writing, but that should be limited to a few sentences at most.
    – user29032
    Mar 21 '18 at 8:04
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    The author of this question has explicitly stated (in a comment to the first answer) that they are looking for a critique: "I am in need for advice concerning the very sentences of my story." I therefore vote to close this question as off topic.
    – user29032
    Mar 21 '18 at 8:07
  • What do you mean by "filtering"? Mar 21 '18 at 16:59
  • Would you please explain your question more? Even after the edit I am not exactly sure what you are asking. Mar 21 '18 at 18:11
  • The question you ask here has already been answered by the answers to your other question. DTP, Dale Hartley Emery, and Mel have explained what you need to do. Their advice is clear, comprehensible, straightforward, and there is not mistaking how to proceed. Now go and implement that advice. Find the "filters" in your text and replace them. Also, please honor the time the answerers took to help you by upvoting their answers and accepting one answer as the correct one.
    – user29032
    Mar 21 '18 at 18:54

We don't critique on stack exchange, but we do answer questions. You can find critique groups at writers.com and absolutewrite. They have fora specifically to critique work.

As a general comment, any writing style can be effective. Including wordiness. I've heard the advice (and I agree): Understand the rules, and then decide within your own writing, when to break them.

How to write without the need for filtering and wordiness?

The best answer is to learn to identify these issues within your writing. Also, as you critique others' works you'll begin to spot them.

The tricks of writing in various ways become easier with practice. For example, a beginning writer might describe a room, not realizing that the point of view that they are writing from would only see a small part of the room. With time, a writer who is practicing writing, will begin to instinctively write from the desired point of view.

Same with filters, with telling, with wordiness.

You can search for key words, like 'looked' or 'listened' and then ask yourself if you are using unnecessary words. That's one approach. Or you can just write, pay attention to the tips you pick up from (wherever) and trust that like riding a bike you will learn to write in a more developed way.

My most succinct answer to your question is:

Simply read your words and consciously ask yourself if you can play with them to make things tighter.

And, have fun. It's only worth it if you are having fun (or enjoy not having fun.)

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    Thank you for the sites, I'll check them out as I am in need for advice concerning the very sentences of my story. I need someone to tell me what sentences are okay, and who are not, so that my brain is gradually adjusted to write in a concise way. But you previous answer (along with this one) has really given me perspective, and when thinking back on books I've read previously, I remember how much more concise the language is.
    – A. Kvåle
    Mar 20 '18 at 21:39

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