I know questions should be general, but I think the problems I suffer from are very general. Filtering and extreme wordiness. I previously believed wordiness was positive, as I thought it added color and made the language more fun to read. I learned that this was wrong after asking a question asking if my language was too repetitive. This question can be found here: How to avoid using "he/she/it" repetitively in action This might further illuminate what I'm talking about. Also, my question was put on hold because someone thought it was a request for critique. People didn't seem to have a problem dishing critique on my last question. The question itself might not be general, but the lessons to be learnt from it are. I, and whoever finds this question, learn what filtering and wordiness is, and they also learn how to avoid it.
We don't critique on stack exchange, but we do answer questions. You can find critique groups at writers.com and absolutewrite. They have fora specifically to critique work.
As a general comment, any writing style can be effective. Including wordiness. I've heard the advice (and I agree): Understand the rules, and then decide within your own writing, when to break them.
How to write without the need for filtering and wordiness?
The best answer is to learn to identify these issues within your writing. Also, as you critique others' works you'll begin to spot them.
The tricks of writing in various ways become easier with practice. For example, a beginning writer might describe a room, not realizing that the point of view that they are writing from would only see a small part of the room. With time, a writer who is practicing writing, will begin to instinctively write from the desired point of view.
Same with filters, with telling, with wordiness.
You can search for key words, like 'looked' or 'listened' and then ask yourself if you are using unnecessary words. That's one approach. Or you can just write, pay attention to the tips you pick up from (wherever) and trust that like riding a bike you will learn to write in a more developed way.
My most succinct answer to your question is:
Simply read your words and consciously ask yourself if you can play with them to make things tighter.
And, have fun. It's only worth it if you are having fun (or enjoy not having fun.)