So, in the very first paragraph of my first chapter of my Work in progress novel, there's this absolute piece of trash event happening. And oh, my God I can't fix it for the life of me.
In the year 3017 there was a large scale war- all countries against America. The president wanted a dictatorship and changed laws, bending them to his will. He wanted world domination and tried taking over many smaller countries, some larger, Russia was top priority per usual. Rallies broke out around the country, but the beginnings of them started in the Capital. The leader of this rally was Greyson Ammone, a strong willed man with a sharp intelligence. The war lasted around five years, give or take a few months.
Is there any way to strengthen this paragraph. There's just a little bit of history of why my novel takes place in this "post apocalyptic" type of world.
Can this be "morphed" into a better summary?
I have this long version, but no one would want to read that. I don't even want to. I am not asking for this to be edited, but can it be saved from being this butchered?
Ex. I was writing ideas for this intro down, and all of them were inevitably crossed out, but this one made it, somehow? How can I express this "Destruction" idea be expressed without sounding like a middle-schooler?
