Can I make a low-key reference to a Marvel movie in my book without anyone noticing?
And if they do notice, can I get sued?
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I am not a lawyer, but I'd avoid doing what you suggest. Here's why:
Will this get noticed? Maybe not. If it is, can you get sued? Definitely. You don't need a justification to sue someone, just a lawyer who'll file the paperwork. (Or, more likely, write the cease-and-desist letter.)
Just for anyone who may not know, here's the difference between trademark and copyright:
A trademark is a word, phrase, symbol, and/or design that identifies and distinguishes the source of the goods of one party from those of others.
A copyright protects original works of authorship including literary, dramatic, musical, and artistic works, such as poetry, novels, movies, songs, computer software, and architecture.
You've suggested using a trademarked thing (Spidey) in your book. You're gonna mention how he made his own web-spinners? That's a copyrighted story, but a snippet of something or a reference to it is probably fair use... but companies have sued over less.
Is this right? No. Art of any kind is a dialog, and this kind of lopsided copyright policing is harmful to artists. The situation is incredibly lopsided in favor of corporations with legal staff that defend their trademarks. This is probably why a lot of writers use knockoff versions of works they reference: "I was reading the Harry Porter books with my daughter when we got distracted by a song by The Rolling Rocks on the radio."
One of the best sendups of Star Trek was "Galaxy Quest," an incredibly respectful, loving sendup of the Trek world without Spock or a single Klingon. It's been my experience that nearly any robust story can survive having cultural references bowdlerized.
What is it you want to reference in Spider-Man? You can find that thing and cut to what you really wanted to say. It might even be better than the original reference.