This is a professional presentation, I'm looking for a good title for the ToC page (some humor allowed).
What I have so far is "What am I going to talk about", which frankly kind of sucks. Your suggestions?
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Off the top of my head:
Why You Might Want To Leave Now
Instead Of What You Wanted to Hear About, I Am Going To Talk About
All The Things I'm Going To Try To Tell You If You'll Just Be Quiet
The Stuff Standing Between You And Lunch
I'm Going To Talk About The Following Because I Have The Remote
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Table of Contents, If You're Lucky
EDIT I got some more:
I Swear This Won't Be A Boring As It Looks
A Moose Bit My Sister
"Now is the table of our discontent."
Shut Up And Pay Attention
I like this advice that I heard long ago:
Tell 'em what you're gonna' tell 'em.
Tell 'em what you told 'em.
EDIT moved from a comment and added to this answer at the suggestion of @Neil Fein:
It's a professional presentation, you're a professional, so act like one. The best opening, imo, is "what I'm going to talk about." Anything else looks like you're apologizing for stealing their valuable time; if that were true, they wouldn't be in the audience. If you try for humor, it had better be sure-fire and guaranteed to bring a laugh, otherwise you will look as foolish, inept, and unprofessional as every other presenter who ever tried the exact same thing. Just imo.
At the start of your presentation, show
This is going to be legen - wait for it, wait for it ...
and at the end, instead of "THE END", put
Today's menu. Obstacle course. Things to come. Bad ideas. The sheet of music. (The last one would support a snarky intro, "just so we're all on the same sheet of..."
Also, consider not having a TOC. Just jump right in. If you want a header slide to your deck, pull out three to five key concepts and just show those.
The art of presentations now is leaning toward very bare, stripped down slides that support your talk, but do not detail it. Hard to describe, but when you see it done well, you know it.
I use "Agenda" as the second slide in my presentations. First is the session title with my name, title, etc.
I don't read the agenda, and the name is self-explanatory. Just mention this is what will be covered and I talk about housekeeping, but this works well.
I have also at times used this same slide multiple times in the presentation at the beginning of each section, highlighting the area that is being covered.