I was editing a friend's story and I ran into a problem. A character wrote a letter to her friend but inside the letter there was a dialogue (quoting her parents) inserted.
I tried to change their mind and made every excuse I could come up with but they said, “You must do this, there will be no argument."
Now, there are many ways to express the same thought, but the problem was the punctuation.
The dialogue tag (if it can even be called that in this case) is way too long, but in a way it could be valid. So is inserting the dialogue with the normal convention as shown in the sample okay? Or can you put a colon after the dialogue tag and insert the dialogue in a new paragraph?
I tried to change their mind and made every possible excuse I could come up with, but all they said was:
"You must do this. There will be no argument."
Regardless of this being a letter, can the above correction (if it is correct) be used in appropriate scenarios?