This is from a piece I wrote a couple of years back:
The sky seemed like a big, large pool of grey smoke. The weather was cool, moist. A fresh, earthy smell hung on the air.
I peered through the window with slick navy blue curtains, swinging to and fro to the movement of the minibus, blocking my view to some extent. Tiny rain droplets drizzled onto the closed glass pane with a light tinkle, creating a rhythmical musical tune which doubtlessly was perceived by quite a few. I could see the vague reflection of a stressed me breaking into a little grin on the damp window pane, as well as my surroundings. I became lost into admiring the lovely shower for a few moments before reality struck me hard.
I've been told that most of my sentences are too complex and that it isn't easy to follow my writing. And my English teacher said that some of the sentences are downright confusing. And that I try to cram too many information into a single sentence. Is it really too difficult for the reader to understand what's going on?
How can I prevent myself from writing overly complex sentences which might not get understood that easily? Is it worth aiming for a poetic effect at the cost of not being clearly understood? It has become kind of a habit for me to write unintelligible yet impressive sentences. Somebody has even said that I write in a "charmingly old-fashioned way".
Keep in mind that I'm not a native English speaker
and only 12. I'm an aspiring writer, nonetheless. And I still need to improve my English writing skills a lot.
I'm not 12 anymore, hence the strikethrough on that bit. Please keep in mind that this question was written a long time ago and got closed around that time. It is now over 2 years old and has been reopened only this recently. I was new here then and didn't know too well how to frame a proper question. I just happened to revisit this again one day and went on to patch up the issues it had. But I wasn't expecting this to suddenly get reopened and get such attention.
Again I'm not still 12 (I'm 14 now, in fact) and now this piece is something I'm incredibly ashamed of. All the cringey stuff I wrote back when I was young and didn't know any better. I would never write something like this now. But thanks for all of your thoughtful comments!