writing with color, skin tone

Question

I'm trying to describe a character in a story and I'm having issues describing her appearance. She is a black woman with specific (vitiligo like) markings and I don't know how to write that.

I don't plan on saying black women or anything like that, I just want to specify here black because shes more of African decent(so if I said woman of color I don't want her to be mistaken as Asian,Indian etc.) I like describe my characters in detail so the reader can get a good image of what they look like. She's a main character and is to be portrayed beautiful yet unique. it's a fairytale styled story.

Ex for other random charters off the top of my head. (A more "romantic feel for a woman) "There she stood with her shimmering copper hair blowing in the wind. She was tall and slender with smooth olive skin rich brown eyes that captivated any who looked her way." (gloomy creepy guy) "glaring Calli's way with his cold blue eyes she froze. He had a bold nose and high cheek bones, His pale colorless flesh made him appear as if he were a corps recently risen from the grave"

Answer 1

If you want to describe a dark-skinned person with vitiligo, just say that her skin is dark with light spots. Which words you use exactly, and how much detail your description has, will depend on how the narrator feels about that character's skin and what effect you want your description to have on the reader. Here are some examples:

Heather stared at Paula's mud-colored skin with its ugly pink spots in disgust.

or:

When they were kids, Heather liked to outline the light patches on Paula's dark skin, imagining her friend to be a human-shaped planet, and the tiny people that might live on that map.

Personally I find vitiligo incredibly sexy and always wanted a girlfriend who had it. Now I even know what it's called :-)

Answer 2

I can see where your issues might come from.

Firstly, try not to use the word vitiligo. It is a medical term, and as @what said, you're obviously not writing for an audience of dermatologists.

Often, we don't say black woman we say woman of colour instead, as this has a better connotation (to certain people). If I were you, instead of saying vitiligo markings you could just say skin speckled with white.

Standing boldly was a woman of colour, her skin speckled with white markings.

That would be an example sentence based off the things I just said.

Conclusion:

• Say woman of colour not black woman

• Check if a word is used in science/medicine, if so, try not to use it in fiction. But, of course that is only if the word is really complex and no one will understand it (like vitiligo which even the computer underlines)

Don't worry, I bet it'll come out totally fine :)

Answer 3

I've upvoted Lythric's answer. I think both points could stand elaborating, and it turned out too long for comments, so:

• Check if a word is used in science/medicine, if so, try not to use it in fiction. But, of course that is only if the word is really complex and no one will understand it (like vitiligo which even the computer underlines)

I disagree — it's good to use the appropriate technical language, if your narrator would know and use it.

You need to be clever and contextualise the language so we understand what it means, but when you do it right, it builds your credibility as an author and the plausibility of the story. Plus, learning new stuff is cool.

Your narrator might or might not be someone who uses the technical term. But use what they would use. And understand that lots of people do — women with endometriosis, for example, don't call it 'mysterious stomach pain', they mostly call it 'endometriosis' or 'endo'.

---

• Say woman of colour not black woman

This is good advice because woman of colour is the wording that's modern and respectful. Use it if (a) your narrator is both of those things; or (b) you are making a conscious decision to make his/her language both of those things.

What I'm saying is be conscious of the decisions you're making about language.

What I'm categorically not saying is you must embrace offensive or upsetting language in the bloody-minded pursuit of historical accuracy. Historical accuracy is only one of the things you need to balance in your writing, and perfect historical accuracy is impossible anyway.

There are many good reasons you would choose option B above. For example, you might want your story to make people happy, or find a wide audience, and have guessed that many people of colour don't want to read a story containing yet another reminder of how recently people like them could be lynched. It's okay — it might even be a good thing — for you to write in a way that respects that. Just be mindful that you're doing it and understand why.

---

Long story short: When you choose language, think about its impact on character.

Once you've done that, it's perfectly appropriate to balance with other considerations, too.

Answer 4

I don't know a single person who uses "of African descent" in everyday speech and the people I spend time with are pretty accepting, liberal-Democrat New Jersey sorts of people. The black people I know call themselves "black" when talking to me. While it may be language a narrator would use (depending on the tone) and my experience is limited to my specific circumstances, books that read like politicians speak tend not to be page-turners.

So when you're deciding on the language you're going to use, I suggest keeping in mind that the words you use and when you use them are equally important tools.

Viewers visualize characters as being like them, unless they're told otherwise. And whatever you tell them first often makes the biggest impression. If the very first thing you write about your character is the color of her skin, you're not creating a character, you're creating, at best, an archetype; at worst, a token character of African descent. It's also worth remembering that "of African descent" doesn't necessarily mean dark-skinned.

And readers will always remember the character, not as the woman who plays the piano and loves skiing and is dark-skinned, but as the African woman of color who plays piano and skis.

Race and appearance are factors in almost every part of our lives. A question worth your time to ask: Why do you want this character to be this particular race? Why is her skin being black (with vitiligo) important to the story you're telling? How is it important to her character? These questions should give you guidance about when to bring these up.