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I am writing a book, in which the protagonists are two teenagers. They fell in love and it is time they were alone and had sex.
As long as the book is destined for teenagers from 15-19, I would like to ask how should I handle the sex part. What ways is sex generally handled in YA books? Are there commonly accepted methods for doing this without turning the book into an adult romance novel with underage sex scenes, or with scenes taken out of a porn movie?
There are various ways to handle this, depending on how you want the scene to come across.
Vague. That is to say, the reader knows they had sex by reasonable inferrence. You end one scene with them entering a 'private' area (bedroom, bathroom, remotre area of the woods, etc) and start the next scene with them being sweaty, touchy-feely, and much more physically and emotionally close to each other. In this way the more savvy will get it.
Euphemism based sex. In this you have two options. You can just say what it is, just not in a clinical way. They didn't 'have sex' they 'made love' or 'screwed' or 'did the thing' or 'he popped her cherry' or whatever you want to describe it as. Or if you want a more direct approach, you can try the 'looking back sequence' this: "He isn't quite sure how things escalated, but he remembers the sensations, the warmth, the closeness. The nervous excitement is like a drug, even now." Be sure, if you take this route, you don't encourage your audience to 'do the deed', but show it in a real light (e.g. show repurcusions thereof: STI, pregnancy, risk of losing virginity to a jerk, insecurity afterwards, etc).
In general, YA books have become fairly permissive. You can get away with a lot, if it works within the context of your story. The important question you need to ask here is: What purpose is the sex serving in your story?
If you don't know what it's there for, you'll have trouble writing the scene well. If you know it should have dirty bits in it but you don't know why, then readers will probably come out of it without much impression beyond "that was a dirty bit."
So the questions here are: what is your book about; what does the sex signify in the story; what kind of scene and experience are you trying to create for the reader. You can choose just how graphic you want to get, but the important thing is to know exactly what effect you're going for. If you're aiming for "sweet, tender first love," than using hardcore pornography term will not serve you well. If you're aiming for "naked, vulnerable, and utterly down-to-earth," then you won't want passionate, exaggerated euphemisms.
As a general rule, focus on feelings, not on mechanics. Feelings, character and relationships are usually what a YA story is about. You can reference body parts and intimate touches if you want to, but I think you'll usually find that getting into serious, explicit detail will be more of a distraction than anything else.
I think it may be okay if the writing about making love is euphemistic -- but don't let the emotions around it be vague. It should be a big event for your characters and that is what is more important than the physical act.
