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Good day everyone,

I have the following sentence:

Around 70% of small businesses in the United States struggle to hire qualified employees, and around 50% attribute this challenge to candidates' lack of skillset needed for the job. This is our area of focus.

My issues are as follow:

  • The word around is repeated twice, and hence feels redundant
  • I am not sure if people feel that "this is our area of focus" ties directly to candidate lack of skill set of the general problem which is hiring qualified employees.
    • I am not sure if they clearly understand what "this challenge" refers to.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am mainly targeting hiring managers looking for developers in small businesses.

  • 1
    You'll also want to clarify whether it's 50% of small businesses or 50% of the 70%. – Ken Mohnkern Jun 7 '16 at 13:25
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Maybe this will work.

Approximately 70% of small businesses in the United States struggle to hire qualified employees. Almost 50% of those small businesses cite lack of skills of potential employees as the reason jobs go unfilled. Filling those jobs with appropriately trained candidates is our focus.

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