I am writing a personal statement to apply to a grad school. At first, I thought that because the role of this statement is to show an image of me as a person, using the tone I usually use when blogging - which uses a lot of idiom and rhetoric - is acceptable (even preferable). However, when I asked about styling to make sure about that, the answer is that it is advisable to keep it professional and formal as if I'm writing to a teacher I respect.
So two-thirds of my statement is using an improper tone, not to mention the errors in English. My English native friend has decided to rewrite them, and fix the other third on the fly (this third is not in a bad tone).
Q: Since the rewritten paragraphs are of course perfect, should I use them without worrying about the conflict in writing styles? I think that in a formal article, there is not much in styles because you don't have much room to use idiom and rhetoric, so my friend's style and my style are not really different, or at least different enough to be noticed. Is that correct?
What tone to use in the personal statement? in Academia