I am working on a series of short stories and am having trouble bringing out the characteristics of one of my characters in descriptions and in his dialogue. My story is set in South Korea.
- One character is a Korean single dad struggling to take care of his five kids on his own. He's a smart guy and dedicates most of his time to his kids, neglecting himself.
- My other main character is a Japanese man living in Korea. This character grew up in a strict household where no mistakes were tolerated, and as a result he is very serious himself. He owns his own modeling company, a family business, and works under the watchful eye of his father. He has an attractive girlfriend but feels his life is missing something. He's not strict all the time, and he knows how to have fun. He respects his elders and is a caring person.
I have the single parent down but I'm having trouble with the Japanese businessman. I don't want to tell my readers about his character; I want to show them. Here is what I have so far:
Looking out the window. The sky was tar black with large clouds moving slowly. They looked just about ready to burst. It looks like I was right because a few seconds later I heard tapping on the windows and then it became a pitter patter. People ran for cover outside umbrellas were opened as the clouds spat out their beads of water. The pitter patter of the rain came down harder against the car. Ultimately fogging the windows and blurring my sight.
"Mr. Park are you alright?" The light voice of my secretary Areum pulled my attention towards her.
Before answering I studied her appearance. Areum had waist length black hair and the fairest skin you'll ever see. Her eyes were the lightest milk brown. Hm... No wonder she was getting married if so soon. "I'm fine," I answered, my attention back outside...
I'm having troubling speaking his language, in a sense talking like him.
I see him being strict as a strength because some way down the road in the story he is going to help the single dad with his kids and in return the single dad will help his company flourish. Yes, I write scenes with him, but I'm never satisfied with what I write. I can never get his character down. I know what I want to write but it's just that I'm having trouble fitting him in a scene or a proper setting to start him out.
Note: I'm not from south Korea or anywhere in any part of Asia or Europe. I'm half way around the world, so I guess it's the cultural differences too that I'm having trouble with.