1

I wrote

In our approach, we rely mainly on the page's content to detect a data region, which in our definition is comprised of a node or a range of nodes in the DOM tree, constituting a contiguous portion of the page.

I could write it as two sentences like:

In our approach, we rely mainly on the page's content to detect data regions. A data region in our definition is comprised of a node or a range of nodes in the DOM tree, constituting a contiguous portion of the page.

I know both sentences are grammatical and correct (and if not, that's not my question). However, I feel that for introductory sentences, I'd better follow the second style and not combine the second sentence with a relative clause. What is your advice or guidelines for that?

  • 1
    @Ahmad Sorry, I was a bit rushed before and wasn't clear. While a question that simply asks for general advice is probably a rephrasing or critique request in disguise, your edits have helped focus the question a lot. I've taken it off hold; thanks for editing and improving this question. – Goodbye Stack Exchange Sep 6 '15 at 23:09
4

I don't think the trouble lies in either choice, since neither is inherently better than the other (though some could argue that the two-sentences version has more clarity). Rather, you may want to be begin with a simple context-setting sentence. Since this is a technical document, consider first mentioning that there are several ways to approach data regions, and then direct the reader's attention to what your approach is and why it has been chosen. Your argument would essentially move as follows: a) acknowledge the options, b) define/demonstrate the chosen method, and c) argue for its effectiveness.

One other stylistic note: beginning with "In our approach..." immediately puts the emphasis on the agent of the action, rather than on the method chosen. The reader may be more concerned with the details than with the doers.

| improve this answer | |

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.