5

I'd like to know if using "It" repetitively (for emphasis) in this context is okay grammatically.

TV has become the modern day baby sitter. It is raising our children. It is dictating the cultural narrative and shaping future society. It is raising the bored inattentive child. It is raising the consumer child. It is raising the aggressive child. It is raising the obese child. It is raising the misinformed and complacent child. It is raising the disenchanted child. And what’s more, it is doing all this with our smiling acquiescence.

Improve this question
2
  • 3
    All rules can be broken for a given effect (if you know the rules in the first place) and in this case each It becomes an emphatic term, like a politician slamming his fist on the podium for each sentence. If that's what you're trying to achieve then it works very well.
    – CLockeWork
    Jun 2, 2015 at 13:59
  • Also, I've editied out the part of your question where you ask for general feedback as we don't critiques here (please take our tour for more info on on-topic questions)
    – CLockeWork
    Jun 2, 2015 at 14:00

3 Answers 3

Reset to default
6

Grammatically, this is correct. Stylistically, I think it would have better effect if you replaced "it" with "TV". 

TV has become the modern day babysitter. TV is raising our children. TV is dictating the cultural narrative and shaping future society.

That would make the "it" more clear and would hammer the point into your readers' heads: 

What's the modern day babysitter? TV! 
What's raising our children? TV!

That is what you want readers to remember, not "what is raising our children? It! But...what's 'it' again?"

Improve this answer
6

The name of this construction is anaphora There are many examples on this wiki page to give you an idea. I agree with other answerers that the "It" can probably be replaced with something with a bit more punch.

Example:

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender.

— Winston Churchill

You may also want to look into zeugma which may give the sentence a different effect.

Vicit pudorem libido timorem audacia rationem amentia. (Cicero, Pro Cluentio, VI.15)

"Lust conquered shame; audacity, fear; madness, reason."

Improve this answer
3
  • Both Your answer and that of jm13fire have been very useful to me. I've gone along with replacing the pronoun with the subject explicitly plus using a Zeugma type construction similar to your suggestion above. It now reads like this: 'TV has become the modern day baby sitter. TV is raising our children. TV is weaning the bored inattentive child; nurturing the consumer child; emboldening the aggressive child; rearing the misinformed and complacent child; fostering the disenchanted child. And what’s more, TV is doing all this with our smiling acquiescence.'
    – Sherif
    Jun 9, 2015 at 16:12
  • BTW I came across this which suggests that using 'It' repetitively would be fine stylistically as well (in some circumstances): “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens starts with following lines: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” literarydevices.net/anaphora
    – Sherif
    Jun 9, 2015 at 16:15
  • I would like to accept both of your answers, is there a way to do that?
    – Sherif
    Jun 9, 2015 at 16:19
1

I don't see any problem with the grammar of this. It is simply a collection of short sentences. However (personally) I would try to shorten it, to make the a little more quick fire. keep the syllable count similar for each sentence.

(though I'm not entirely sure the question falls under the Q&A style of stackexchange - but that's a different issue!)

Improve this answer

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge that you have read and understand our privacy policy and code of conduct.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.