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I am a math major who hasn't written a research paper in 6 years, and I need some help. I have to write two thesis statements, and have both written, but I'm not sure they're right. I also must state what the independent variables and dependent variable are.

  1. The Black feminist movement was created because racial and sexual oppression.

    *dependent variable: Black feminist movement

    *independent variable: sexual and racial oppression

2.Black women for years have been the silent group in are society.

*dependent variable: Black women

*independent variable: silent group

General advice would be appreciated as well.

closed as off-topic by hildred, user5645, Neil Fein May 27 '15 at 13:02

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  • While this is off-topic here, you might find help on the Academia site. – Neil Fein May 27 '15 at 13:03
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For your first statement, you're just missing "of" after because.

For the second statement, "for years" should be placed between commas, and "are" should be "our."

It looks to me like the variables are correctly identified.

You clearly are well-educated, and given that, the kinds of mistakes you are making are simple ones that you should be able to identify yourself. You should slow down and proofread more carefully. Errors like this make it look as if you rushed through your writing, and only did one draft.

In math and science caliber of content is the most important thing, but in the humanities, you also need to show care in the way things are expressed. Details matter, and so does using the right word (not the almost right one!).

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