I have a writing style which relies heavily on pauses, specifically commas and periods. I like to put them everywhere but I am quit sure I overdo it significantly. I was wondering if there are known remedies for this problem?
Here is an extreme sample excerpt from a SciFi text:
He watched the fire. It danced around the fresh wood, sparks swarming out in perceived random. Quickly consumed, a crackle of heat, a flash, a wave reached his skin. He watched the Vivicaust shed colors of warmth, a radiant beauty. Dying. He freshened the lifespan, scintillations abound.
He stared at the embers. Dead. A ruminating mind wandered with them, lost in thoughts of impermanence. He rushed to fan the last glimmer of hope, not yet. It wouldn't die yet.
I am also usually very concise and leave much thinking up to the reader. I am originally a German speaker. Might this be part of the cause? I recognize that it kills flow but I am unsure about my approach to fix it.