Is it Ok to fade out the commentator’s voice before he’s finished his broadcast…? I’m trying to illustrate to the readers that the broadcast continues, whilst Jack and Richard go on with their conversation. The news content isn’t that important at this juncture, although, it will be later. Also, Should the commentator’s voice be in italics’?


I don’t want to be late; not today buddy.” Said Jack, turning on the radio. “…K.W.L.A. 34 live on 107.9 FM, bringing you L .A.’s, favourite sounds, world news and the best in sports over the waves. Hey, it’s 7.00 a.m. people, I’m Jimmy Delgado and I’ll with you for the next hour playing some great sounds from the 90’s. Today’s going to be a sunny, bright shiny day in the City of Angels, with the temperature climbing into the 80’s… and humid folks. Now, here’s Rachael with the City News…” “The San Francisco public works department announced earlier this morning that five lanes on the south-bound section of the six lane underpass would remain closed until the end of the week, when its hoped the landslip caused by yesterday’s seismic activity … “More benefit cuts on the way as New York’s, food queues degenerate into vicious bloody riots... Last night, in a televised Nationwide interview with, President O’Mara, speaking from the Oval Office, revealed that, thousands of already poverty stricken families would soon be facing…. Racheal Simplon for. K. W. L. A 34. Helium.3., North Korea launched its first Space Mining Company today, Deep Dragon One on New York’s stock exchange, making it the forth Asian company to have drilling rights on the Moon to date. Rachael Simplon for K.W.L.A. 34, coming to you live on 107.9 FM.” ‘Shit. That’s us screwed,’ said Richard. ‘Can’t we go around it?’ Said Jack. Dark brooding thoughts of being late for the mee


1 Answer 1


Here's my shot at this since the other one was a script and maybe you're looking for an example of prose which is going to be different. Also, as Chekhov said, (paraphrase) "if you show something in the first scene it better be important later." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekhov%27s_gun

If you have the radio interrupting then it should be significant to the story.

"I don't want to be late today," Jack said and turned on the radio. "Can't be late today."

The accelaration of the Mitsubishi pushed Richard back into the passenger seat. "Whoa, fella. I'd like to get there alive."

Mick Jagger's voice screamed through the car as an old Stones song blared through the speakers.

Richard grasped the volume knob and turned it down. "I wouldn't mind being able to hear when I get there either. What's with you this morning, man?"

"I got this thing at work, okay? I'm trying to get myself in the right mood," Jack said and cranked the music back up.

"I didn't know dead and deaf was a mood," Richard said. "Turn that thing --"

A high pitched beep came through the speakers and cut Richard off.

"This is a broadcast from the emergency alert system," came the voice from the radio. Jack turned it down and frowned. "Just as I was getting into it."

"Wait a second," Richard said and reached for the volume. "What are they saying? It sounded like it might be important."

  • Thanks, fiddling with the volume knob is good, but doesn’t really answer the question at to whether the format for this is correct.
    – user67244
    Commented Feb 10, 2015 at 11:46

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.