0

I know you can write stuff like this:

Head on pillow, I glanced at the clock.

My mind made up, I went over to the counter.

How about following:

And with that he put on the climbing shoes, the harness, and attached himself to the rope. Everything set, he threw the end of the rope down the cliff, and began his descent.

  • An aside, about your last example, if you plan to use it: are you a climber? Your description of how the guy prepares the descent sounds wrong to me: typically one throws the rope before securing himself or herself to the rope. – Massimo Ortolano Jan 14 '15 at 21:33
  • Everything's allowed in fiction. :) Well, at least if you're James Joyce. – Paul Senzee Jan 15 '15 at 1:53
  • @Massimo Ortolano Thanks for the info. I think I'll check a climbing YouTube video and rewrite this section. Are you a climber? – Alexandro Chen Jan 15 '15 at 2:14
  • 1
    @AlexandroChen: I climbed a bit, albeit not seriously. You can look for a common technique of descent which is called double rope abseil (or rappel). – Massimo Ortolano Jan 15 '15 at 5:47
2

The middle one is fine, and the third one is okay. The first feels a little dodgy because you're veering close to a dangling participle, where you have a phrase which doesn't have a clear subject.

In the first and third sentences, the context clarifies the subject, but I'd rewrite them so you don't get into the habit of sloppy antecedents:

My head still on the pillow, I glanced at the clock.

And with that he put on the climbing shoes, the harness, and attached himself to the rope. With everything now set, he threw the end of the rope down the cliff, and began his descent.

1

Second one is good. First sounds weird. Third one is begging for another sentence:

And with that he put on the climbing shoes, the harness, and attached himself to the rope. At the cliff's edge he rechecked every knot one last time. Everything set, he threw the end of the rope down the cliff, and began his descent.

Maybe put in a mutter:

And with that he put on the climbing shoes, the harness, and attached himself to the rope. At the cliff's edge he rechecked every knot one last time. "All set," he muttered. He threw the end of the rope down the cliff, and began his descent.

But, straight answer to your question is "yes."

0

This is well within the bounds of individual style. While not everyone might choose to write in this way, it isn't incorrect and may suit your particular "writer's voice."

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.