2

So the protagonist's boyfriend committed suicide. He left a suicide note. And now the detective is showing it to the protagonist:

"So I'm the one who made him do it?

"We read the letter. (Apologies. Standard procedures). Nothing inside suggests that. In fact, Tom didn't leave a reason."

How can I restructure the dialogue so I doesn't use the parentheses?

  • Is the detective supposed to actually be saying those things? If so, try using dialogues tags. – Kit Z. Fox Dec 1 '14 at 15:29
8

Add a little stage direction.

"We read the letter." She had the grace to look a little shamefaced. "Apologies. Standard procedure." He nodded, even if his heart hurt a little to think the cops had read Tom's note. "Nothing inside suggests you're to blame. In fact, Tom didn't leave a reason."

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