1

“Good. You've done your homework.” The girl turned around and started inspecting a decaying tree, as if checking its health. “Funny, isn't? How nature can make us do things that don't benefit our survival. Things that are just a complete waste of time and energy. Or even worst, things that may hurt us—or those around us. Why is that? It doesn't make sense at all.”

I have no idea why things turned out like this (damn, that word again). And I'm not sure how to solve it. Any suggestions?

1

2 Answers 2

5

Firstly, I'd say it really depends on your character. It could very much fight with the character. Otherwise, you could increase the complexity potentially with something like "Funny, isn't it? How nature can make us act in ways that don't benefit our survival? Sometimes we just waste our time and energy..."

Remember, all too often characters just write themselves. They might say Things a hundred and two times, and drive you crazy, but whenever you try to put different words in that character's mouth, they just spit them out. - Kidding.

1

The only one which actually seems repetitious is the third one; the first one is perfect and the second is a deliberate sentence-fragment echo. I literally didn't notice them.

for the third:

Or even worse, we end up doing something that may hurt us — or those around us.

1
  • Thanks for noticing the worst. I don't know why but I always write it instead of worse.
    – wyc
    Commented Feb 8, 2014 at 14:35

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.