Timeline for Can this statement be simplified, and is it effective?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
7 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 12, 2013 at 21:00 | answer | added | Lazarus | timeline score: 2 | |
| Dec 11, 2013 at 23:57 | comment | added | hildred | The first sentence appears out of place being in third person, while the rest is in first. I think you removed a transition you shouldn't have. I find the whole jarring and rough, too many ideas with no flow. | |
| Dec 11, 2013 at 20:41 | review | First posts | |||
| Dec 12, 2013 at 20:14 | |||||
| Dec 11, 2013 at 20:31 | comment | added | Snowman | @LaurenIpsum hey Lauren, I've simplified my question and reduced it to 1 primary question, and a second general request for overall opinion. | |
| Dec 11, 2013 at 20:30 | history | edited | Snowman | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
deleted 773 characters in body
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| Dec 11, 2013 at 20:26 | comment | added | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | Hi Mo, and welcome to Writers. Stack Exchange is not like other sites. We're not a discussion board, and we generally don't do "subjective" questions. You do have a fairly good question here ("Can this statement be simplified any more?"), so that can be answered, but we like to focus on one question per post. If you want to also, separately, ask how to make it more humorous, please post that as a new question. | |
| Dec 11, 2013 at 20:20 | history | asked | Snowman | CC BY-SA 3.0 |