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P.S. Even if you have no time to critique it, I'm interested in hearing whether or not it is compelling

P.S. Even if you have no time to critique it, I'm interested in hearing whether or not it is compelling

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So thereSo There I was in the scorching, afternoon, summer heat of Cairo. It was a huge change from the UK’s mild weather, and together with the fact that I had been fasting - as inas in no food or drink- for 15 hours by that point didn’t make it any easier to handle only made things worse. I looked around,around; the sun was quickly disappearing behind the towering apartment blocks that surrounded me. The taxi had dumped me here after taking what was clearly a a clearly circuitous route to squeeze me of every penny I had, every penny out of me; I had cringed as I sawsaw watched the number creeping up on the meter creeping up, but there wasn’t much I could do have done. I had two suitcases and no idea where to go. I felt a painful emptiness in my stomach. My throat was completely parched from a lack of water and the desert air, heavy with sand, only made things worse. Each breath I took filled my nostrils with the pungent smell of rotten food given off by the overturned skips at every street corner.

Suddenly the booming voice of the Athan, the Muslim call to prayer, resonated around me. It marked the time for the evening prayer and, more importantly, the time for me to break my fast. That thought only made me hungrier and I thought I heard an audible rumble coming from my stomach. I continued to drag my feet through the various streets in the area squinting at each building number, desperately hoping to see mine, but to no avail. Eventually I decided to ask at a shop I had passed a few times, as I neared it a man pointed to the ground next to him “Here,” he offered “sit and break your fast us.” In one hand he held a bottle of water, in the other a mango. No feeling could come close to the ecstasy I felt when I sunk my teeth into the sweet, succulent mango. This man who looked like he could barely afford the clothes on his back was freely sharing his food with me, it was a beautiful gesture and at that moment it was a lot easier to remember why I had decided to come back here.

Note: Additions made to essay are italicized.

P.S. Even if you have no time to critique it, I'm interested in hearing whether or not it is compelling

So there I was in the scorching, afternoon, summer heat of Cairo. It was a huge change from the UK’s mild weather and together with the fact that I had been fasting - as in no food or drink- for 15 hours by that point didn’t make it any easier to handle only made things worse. I looked around, the sun was quickly disappearing behind the towering apartment blocks that surrounded me. The taxi had dumped me here after taking what was clearly a a clearly circuitous route to squeeze me of every penny I had, every penny out of me; I had cringed as I saw the number creeping up on the meter creeping up but there wasn’t much I could do have done. I had two suitcases and no idea where to go. I felt a painful emptiness in my stomach. My throat was completely parched from a lack of water and the desert air, heavy with sand, only made things worse. Each breath I took filled my nostrils with the pungent smell of rotten food given off by the overturned skips at every street corner.

Suddenly the booming voice of the Athan, the Muslim call to prayer, resonated around me. It marked the time for the evening prayer and, more importantly, the time for me to break my fast. That thought only made me hungrier and I thought I heard an audible rumble coming from my stomach. I continued to drag my feet through the various streets in the area squinting at each building number hoping to see mine, but to no avail. Eventually I decided to ask at a shop I had passed a few times, as I neared it a man pointed to the ground next to him “Here,” he offered “sit and break your fast us.” In one hand he held a bottle of water, in the other a mango. No feeling could come close to the ecstasy I felt when I sunk my teeth into the sweet, succulent mango. This man who looked like he could barely afford the clothes on his back was freely sharing his food with me, it was a beautiful gesture and at that moment it was a lot easier to remember why I had decided to come back here.

Note: Additions made to essay are italicized.

So There I was in the scorching, afternoon, summer heat of Cairo. It was a huge change from the UK’s mild weather, and together with the fact that I had been fasting - as in no food or drink- for 15 hours by that point didn’t make it any easier to handle only made things worse. I looked around; the sun was quickly disappearing behind the towering apartment blocks that surrounded me. The taxi had dumped me here after taking what was clearly a a clearly circuitous route to squeeze me of every penny I had, every penny out of me; I had cringed as I saw watched the number creeping up on the meter creeping up, but there wasn’t much I could do have done. I had two suitcases and no idea where to go. I felt a painful emptiness in my stomach. My throat was completely parched from a lack of water and the desert air, heavy with sand, only made things worse. Each breath I took filled my nostrils with the pungent smell of rotten food given off by the overturned skips at every street corner.

Suddenly the booming voice of the Athan, the Muslim call to prayer, resonated around me. It marked the time for the evening prayer and, more importantly, the time for me to break my fast. That thought only made me hungrier and I thought I heard an audible rumble coming from my stomach. I continued to drag my feet through the various streets in the area squinting at each building number, desperately hoping to see mine, but to no avail. Eventually I decided to ask at a shop I had passed a few times, as I neared it a man pointed to the ground next to him “Here,” he offered “sit and break your fast us.” In one hand he held a bottle of water, in the other a mango. No feeling could come close to the ecstasy I felt when I sunk my teeth into the sweet, succulent mango. This man who looked like he could barely afford the clothes on his back was freely sharing his food with me, it was a beautiful gesture and at that moment it was a lot easier to remember why I had decided to come back here.

Note: Additions made to essay are italicized.

P.S. Even if you have no time to critique it, I'm interested in hearing whether or not it is compelling

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