Timeline for The opposite sex in first person?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
11 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Mar 5, 2014 at 17:31 | comment | added | Muz | Honestly, I'd recommend Gray's book because it teaches you to write stereotypes convincingly. I'd still put it as a stereotype, because they lump people into groups, but stereotypes are a great tool for writing. | |
| Oct 13, 2012 at 21:46 | comment | added | TRiG | If you actually want to know how men and women speak, get hold of The Myth of Mars and Venus, by Deborah Cameron, which blows John Gray's book out of the water as the pseudocientific bullshit it is. Cameron is a linguist and a professor, and her book is based on actual research and data, but is highly accessible. | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 12:45 | comment | added | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | Kate and Craig, you are both absolutely correct. People are individuals, not stereotypes. However, it is not oversimplifying to say that in general, men and women have different communication styles and goals. And if the OP doesn't know what those differences are, it's not unreasonable to say "Here are some books which talk about the differences." What the OP chooses to use is up to him. But you can't break the rules until you know the rules. Change "men and women" to "Japanese and Italian." Is it a stereotype to say they will communicate differently? I don't think so. | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 11:00 | comment | added | Kate S. | And I'm a woman who DOES like some time alone right after work. That distinction sounds more introvert/extrovert to me. I guess if the books help you, that's great, but I don't buy the idea of "the authentic male voice" vs. "the authentic female voice". I think the authentic character voice is the most important thing, and I think we need to be careful not to over-simplify the multitude of factors that go into making that voice. | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 7:59 | comment | added | Craig Sefton | "a typical guy likes to come home from work and decompress away from everyone for 30 minutes" - See, I'm a typical guy (well, I have all the necessary bits to be a guy), and know lots of guys, but I can't think of one that fits that description. My personal feeling is that men are from earth, and women are from earth, so deal with it ;) | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 0:28 | comment | added | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | I'll give you a good example: Harry Potter and Ron Weasley's fight when they weren't speaking for a while in Goblet of Fire. They fought and argued and made up like two guys. They felt deeply and strongly, but they acted and expressed themselves in ways that girls don't. Neither Harry nor Ron is a stereotype. But they are males. They don't talk, act, or interact like Hermione and Ginny (who are two non-stereotypical females). | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 0:22 | comment | added | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | (cont'd) None of these things are absolutes, of course; they are guidelines. But the OP is saying he feels like he can't speak in an authentic female voice. I'm giving suggestions both on how to be "authentic" to the individual characters, and how to differentiate the authentic male voice from the authentic female voice. I've seen too many stories written by female authors about male characters and the men all sound like, well, women. Characters shouldn't be stereotypical, but you can have general characteristics recognizable to a gender. | |
| Oct 31, 2011 at 0:22 | comment | added | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | Because I think how someone speaks (communication) and what someone does can be addressed separately. I liked the Mars/Venus book because it explained, for example, how a typical guy likes to come home from work and decompress away from everyone for 30 minutes. I grew up in an all-female household and simply would not know that. Tannen discusses the competitive speech of men vs. the collaborative speech of women. (cont'd) | |
| Oct 30, 2011 at 21:12 | comment | added | Kate S. | I liked this answer better without the ETA. Lots of men aren't from Mars, and lots of women (including me) aren't from Venus. I haven't read You Just Don't Understand, but if it also tries to simplify the beautiful complexities of humanity into just two genitalia-based groups, I'm not convinced. What happened to the part where you were recommending that the OP not "worry quite so much about the gender of your characters"? | |
| Oct 30, 2011 at 18:49 | history | edited | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
added 598 characters in body
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| Oct 30, 2011 at 17:25 | history | answered | Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum | CC BY-SA 3.0 |